Single mother families are on the rise!
A study conducted by the US Census Bureau stated a majority of the 73.7 million children 0-18 years old are living in two-parent families. With divorce rates skyrocketing it’s at a surprisingly high 69 percent in November 2017. Does being a single mother compare?
This is probably with second marriages in the mix as well. Family trees are much more complicated than they used to be. The simple life is a thing of the past, but were things ever simple? Being a single mom is definitely never boring! Here are five reasons why living as a single mother rocks!
5 Reasons Why Living As A Single Mother Rocks!
Children 18 and under living with a single mother are number two on the list.
Single mom households come in at 23 percent. I’m one of the women in this demographic, and I happen to like being a single mom, it’s part of the planet’s evolution. Single women coming into their power.
I may not be single forever, but for now— It’s heaven. Being part of the single mother statistic has its benefits. Especially when you’re a part-time mamma. This is my current status, and it can’t be beaten. At least not according to the life of Dina.
Single mother life gives you an opportunity not had by many women.
When you’re a single mother you get to be selfish with your kid time.
You’ve maybe lived the married or coupled up life and been a single mother. It’s got qualities that are as unique as your children.
My son and I have a F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C single mother-only child relationship. It’s one that would make most parents jealous. We look out for each other, and it wouldn’t have been the same if I was still married. Our connection is deep.
I’m not saying married women don’t have a deep connection with their children. It’s just different as a single mother.
My friend Arthur grew up in a single mother household, and he said he would watch out for him mom— No matter what. If you treat your children as people and respect them as you want them to respect you, then you will get this kind of relationship.
Another added benefit of being a single mother gives you time to spend with just you and your children.
You can enjoy one on one time without anyone else butting their heads in if you don’t’ want them to.
You may gladly invite special people into the moment with them, but they’ve got to earn that right. At least in my home, maybe yours is different.
When you’re a single mother, you get to choose what is best for you and your kids.
Nobody can tell you what to do. I LOVE this! Your ex might try to tell you how to raise your kids, but when you live alone— Life is on YOUR terms.
Being part of a single parent family has problems of course,— Like paying all the bills alone, but the challenges of being a single mom household lead me and probably you to get creative with everything— Especially in the making money department.
You are lucky to be a single mom because you get the opportunity to be creative.
Women are built for creation. You created a human child, and now you get to inspire them, and mold them to become (hopefully) amazing and grown-up human beings.
When you’re a single mother, you’ll also get to create a new you.
Before running a single parent home, I was severely co-dependent. Now I’m independent. Independence is a great skill to learn especially when you always felt the need that had to have a man around. You don’t.
You learn how to be an independent woman when you’re a single mom— Because you have to.
This is a good thing. You will also learn the art of having good boundaries.
When you’re a single mother, it will teach you to say NO in the correct time and never be a doormat.
When you’re a single mom you don’t have time to do things you don’t want to do.
You will also learn how to accept support when its available too and say YES! When it’s the right time.
Having a little help from your friends never hurts. If a friend offers to open the door or buy you dinner— Say yes! It takes practice to say yes to help when you’re used being good at everything and used to doing it all.
Life as a single mother gives you more freedom also to say “No” when something doesn’t feel right. When you’re supporting a family by yourself, it teaches you that your time is super valuable. If your friends invite you to a party and your tired— Give them a thank you, then a no thank you.
Being a single mother will teach you about balance because it’s the only way.
We’ve all got our ups and downs, and when you learn to accept the light with the dark, you will become much lighter and so much more fulfilling.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
After ten years of being a single mom, I have one thing to say. Being a single mom isn’t so bad. In fact— Now I LOVE it!
But it wasn’t always this way. I struggled for a while being a single mom. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. When I was married, I knew even less if you want to know the real truth. I became a dating coach because I wondered why my relationships were always in the gutter. So I decided to dedicate my life to figure it out.
I didn’t know how to communicate— At all. Passive aggressive behavior was my MO. It kept the peace, (so I thought). When you’re taught to please other people, well sometimes you don’t know how to say what you mean. Stirring up the waters wasn’t what I was prepared to do. So shut up and stuffed down my feelings.
But now . . .
Being A Single Mom: 3 Secrets To Make You Happy And Single
Being a single mom means it’s time to shake things up and be a disruptor of the way things used to be.
When you become a single mom, you get to figure out who you are— Really. Being a single mother (especially in the beginning) is hard. Really freaking hard. It can be depressing when you’re single.
Why are we depressed? Because people are built for love and we think if we’re not with someone we get depressed.
We don’t always know how to do love and lose it or leave it. Not only is love hard— Love is hard-wired into our DNA. Love makes out hearts beat and gives us a reason to get up in the morning. But love knows no bounds and we can love when we’re alone. It’s imperative.
Being a single mom does not mean you are loveless.
When you’re a single mom, it’s the very best time to learn about love. Love for yourself, your kids, your family, and those around you.
Just because you’re single and lonely doesn’t mean you are unlovable, and dammit— You must love yourself.
Being a lonely single woman and being bummed out doesn’t have to last forever. I can’t and it won’t.
Being a single mom might be a crazy lifestyle— But with the right shifts in your thinking, you can learn to love being single.
Being a single mom moments are ones that people who aren’t single just don’t get. Some people think kids are gross but gross can bring you back to living in the moment.
Magical moments happen every day when you’re a single mom.
You may go to bed and think you’re going to be living alone forever— Thankfully you get to go to sleep and give your way-too-active brain a rest. You’ll get to reset your depressed single buttons.
You’re going to wake up tomorrow, and I want you to do something to help you thrive as a single mom.
Do something for the kiddos that need you to be there for them in the best way you can.
Start your day off being present.
Be present with the what you hear, smell, taste, touch, see and feel. See that extra sense I added to the end? That one matters more than you know. Feeling life.
Use all of your senses to get you through the day. If you’re feeling sad, feel it and let it pass. As Carl Jung said, “The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning in it were not balanced by sadness.” Embrace all of your emotions:
Fear
Joy
Trust
Disgust
Sadness
And of course— Happiness.
When you’re actively being a single mom— It’s vital for you to give yourself a few minutes a day to get in touch with yourself and feel your emotions.
You may think, “Oh I don’t have time for that.” You can make the time. You have to. If you want to be happy you don’t have a choice.
Get up 5 or 10 minutes early. Give yourself time to allow your senses to unfold gently into your day. Notice the light coming through the curtains. Smell the candle by your bed. Listen to your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out of your nose. Cuddle up in the cover and feel that cushy pillow.
Then give yourself and your kids a big hug and know that this is where you’re supposed to be— Embraced in love.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single parent stigmas and stereotypes prove untrue when they are examined more closely.
Society attaches a stigma to the single parent. In fact, just 7 years ago, a Pew Research Study surveyed people about single parenting. Seven in ten said the trend of single women having children was “bad for society.”
Single Parent Stigmas And Stereotypes Prove Untrue
Who are Single Parents?
Parents may be single for a myriad of reasons. Single parents may choose to adopt, use a sperm donor or surrogate. Others face unplanned pregnancies. Still others are divorced or widowed.
There’s also some debate about the definition of a single parent. Are divorced parents with shared custody single parents? What about a single mother and a single father are both involved in the child’s life?
Single parents by definition are those who who raise children by themselves. When the other parents plays a role in the child’s life, their relationship is defined as coparenting. Regardless of the definition, parents who are uncoupled face stigma from society.
How Many US Households are Single Parent?
Although the American family has been changing, 69% of the approximately 73.7 million children in the U.S. live with two parents, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. The second most prevalent household is led by single mothers. Between 1960 and 2016, the percentage of children living in two-parent households has decreased from 88 percent. During the same time period, the percentage of children living with single mothers tripled from 8 to 23 percent. The overwhelming majority of households with two parents are married couples.
Stereotypes and Misconceptions
The typical American family is headed by a married mother and father and it is that formation that is often idealized. On the flip side of that, single parents are often stigmatized as less responsible or as “bad parents.”
Social scientist Bella De Paulo, PhD, Academic Affiliate, Psychological & Brain Sciences, University of California, Santa Barbara, has focused her academic work on the study of single life, as well as the stigmatization of singles.
De Paulo sees the following as misconceptions attached to children of single parents:
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- Children in single parent households are more likely to be substance abusers. In a national survey of teens and substance abuse, the rate of substance abuse in teens from single households was about 5.4 percent, compared to 4.5% in for the children of married parents, hardly statistically significant, especially when accounting for margin of error.
- Children of single mothers and fathers do worse all the way around. Tracking studies of children from different types of households (two parent biological, adoptive, step-families, and single mother) have concluded that children’s grades, sibling relationships, and friend relationships were about the same. The children’s role in the family structure may be more important than the structure itself.
- Marriage is the most significant predictor of success in children. Children are more vulnerable when their family experience is marked by conflict or neglect, marital status of parents notwithstanding. Moreover, a global study concluded that children were better adjusted living with single mother than in a high conflict household with married parents. The same holds true for children raised by one divorced parent versus remarried parents.
The Myth of The Vixen Single Mother
A common stereotype attached to divorced mothers in particular is the barfly vixen barfly who lives on cocktails and downs bottles of wine while trying to seduce married husbands, desperate not to end up alone. Divorced mothers, even in shared custody situations, typically end up with the lion’s share of parenting responsibilities, juggling career with child care.
Sure, single mothers have lives outside of their children but all parents should do so. Hovering over children because you have no outside interests serves neither children nor parents.
Single Equals Without Support
It does take a village to raise a child but single parents, like singles, often surround themselves with supportive friends and family. We make our tribes. The lonely single stereotype just isn’t a reality. Healthy singles,whether parents or without children, create full lives with plenty of connections. In fact, singles are more likely to form social connections outside of their relationships than married or coupled people.
What’s Next?
Single mothers and fathers are the target of numerous social stigmas. In my next columns, we’ll be taking a look at political and cultural stigmas attached to single parents.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Facing an empty nest as a single parent of a college student brings unique challenges. What are the trials faced by single parents with an empty nest and how can we not only cope but thrive during this new phase of our lives?
How Single Parents Can Deal With An Empty Nest By Sending Children To College
Empty Nest Issues
Whether you’ve been co-parenting with an ex or have been ensconced in full-time parenting on your own, you may have focused much of your attention and time on your children. Many single parents fear the prospect of loneliness as they prepare to live alone for the first time in years.
Regardless of relationship status, many parents define their roles through children. Our social circles tend to rely on people we met through our children’s school, sports teams, and activities. It may be difficult to maintain those relationships without children around.
As we end any phase of our lives, it’s not uncommon to reflect on the past. If you’re divorced, you may find yourself thinking more about the breakup of your marriage or how things might have been different. If you’re a widow or widower, it’s natural to reface the loss of your partner as your children grow up.
Empty Nest Fixes
Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. It’s okay to feel sad or lonely when your kids leave home. Wallow under the covers or allow yourself an ugly cry a day the first weeks.
Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely. Connection does not only come from having a romantic partner. Social scientist and singles advocate Bella DePaulo’s research supports that single people are more connected to family and friends, while married people may be more insular.
Make Connections: Be open to expanding your social circle with others who may be in a similar situation. Smile. Friendliness is is infectious and you’ll feel less isolated just by saying hello to people you come across. Throw a party and ask each friend to bring a single guest or a person you don’t know.
Appreciate Solitude: While it’s important to make connections, learn to embrace the times you are alone. Read a book that interests you. Take a bath. Take up a creative hobby like playing an instrument, writing, painting. Go to the movies or a museum by yourself.
Seek Adventure. Do things you didn’t have time for when you were busy with young children at home. Take a class in something that interests you. Plan a trip or play tourist in your own city.
Stay in Touch. Schedule communication with your child via text, phone, even Facetime or Skype. Your child was likely busy those last few years of high school and you may find you speak with him or her more often now that your child is away.
Cherish the Visits. When your child does come home, establish new traditions. Plan fun activities to share. Remember to give your child space as he or she enters adulthood. Relate to each other on a different level. Discuss that your child is learning in school.
Volunteer. Spend time at a food bank or reading to a child. Visit an elderly person who can’t leave the house. Helping others is sometimes the best medicine.
Summary
The transition to empty nest as a single parent when your children leave home is momentous. But like any challenge, reframing the experience goes a long way to help you adjust. Use the opportunity to grow, to make new connections, and to focus on your next chapter.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The number of single parents has risen over the past decades as couples have divorced, widowed, or have decided to become singles parents by choice. Despite this reality, society maintains negative stigmas about single parents. Single parents confront a number of different stigmas that people hold against them and there are stereotypes that single dads and single moms deal with daily. There are three main stereotypes and stigmas that single parents continue to confront, although they are becoming more common in the 21st Century. Society needs to change how it views single parents and realize that they positively contribute to society.
Less than Coupled Families
The first response that single parents often deal with is the feeling of pity from others when they learn that they parent alone. This is because it is thought that they must have done something wrong that resulted in them becoming a single parent. They must have been in a bad marriage or married the wrong person. It is than believed that the parent did something wrong that resulted in them becoming a single parent. Following from that belief, single parents are less important and valuable to society because they are no longer coupled. This is detrimental to anyone to be viewed as lesser than someone else for any reason.
Failed Relationships
Since society holds the ideal of having a fairy tale wedding and marrying your soul mate, once a relationship fails it is believed that they did something wrong. This separation of an ideal from the reality of how many relationships turn out is hurtful to single parents. In some cases, single parents had no control over the outcome of their relationship. In other instances, it may have been the best decision to leave a relationship if they were abused by their partner. In the third option, both of the parents may have agreed that the relationship was not working out and that the best option is to divorce. Society, and others, does not know the circumstances that resulted in someone having to parent solo. Most importantly, it is not their business so it is not their place to judge someone else’s relationships. Being a single parent does not automatically make someone a bad parent. There are many bad two parents. Society must recognize this reality and stop blaming single parents.
Harmful to Society
Society, politics, and people view single parents are harmful to society. They failed a relationship and they are now raising their children alone so they must not be good people. Some people may even go so far as to call single parents’ immoral degenerates because they believe it to be unnatural. This is because it does not fit society’s ideal. Single parents are portrayed as dangerous to society in television and movie because they are assumed to be lazy or using others in order survive as solo parent. Politics discriminates against single parents by only having laws that favor of married two parent families. There are more than one thousand laws that provide two parent families with tax breaks from insurance to having children. People judge single parents for something that they had no control over and believe that they hurt society because of it.
As single parents become more common in society, it is time for the stigmas that are held against these parents to disappear. There are some parents who are even becoming single parents by choice as marriage is delayed or rejected. All singles are confronted by stigmas that society believes about them that are false, but single parents face a unique set of stereotypes. It is time that society abandoned its disapproval of single parents as they become more common today.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The 85th Texas Legislator recently passed Texas House Bill 3859 that protects adoption agencies right of conscience to deny prospective parents from adopting who they deem unfit. This is in fact a reasonable law as the country seems to continue to want to slowly erase First Amendment protections to religious freedom, contrary to the media hysteria that has resounded with a discrimination alarm. The problem is more about the relationship that adoption agencies have with the state. Single parents should have adoption access by finding an agency that works with singles who want to be parents.
The core concern that “only Christian groups are contracted with the state, [advocates have] raised concerns that taxpayer-funded agencies will be protected if they reject parents of other faiths.” However, the bill explicitly reads “It is the intent of the legislature to maintain a diverse network of service providers that offer a range of foster capacity options and that can accommodate children from various cultural backgrounds.” Why do adoption organizations have a relationship with the state? Why does the state, or a state approved agency, need to be involved in foster care and adoption? Those are the two essential questions related to Texas. The fact that only Christian adoption agencies have a relationship with the state and act as the state’s adoption middle man is secondary. That problem reflects the second question. If the state controls the foster care system, it has control over what type of agencies it wants to be involved with state adoption. In states that are not as conservative or religious as Texas, such as Washington and New York, the types of agencies that the state works with are probably different from those of Texas. That is how federalism works. States are independent to make their own laws and operate differently from other states. Anyone who wants to become a parent should be able to, but the adoption organization that parents go to should have the right to disapprove a candidate if they do not fit an adoption agency’s requirements and any state laws.
By taking power away from the state to penalize agencies and giving more to adoption agencies, it gives more freedom and choice to the consumers who want to become parents. This will also help to decentralize the adoption agency market that state often controls by using only one or a couple of approved providers in its foster care network. Such is the case with the controversy currently surrounding Texas. Since adoption organizations’ have different criteria for what a prospective parent must meet before they are able to adopt, there will be some agencies that will not accept certain people. This is actually fine, although it is contrary to current popular thought. For example, there is a single woman who has been divorced twice. This woman goes to three different agencies with three different requirements. The first agency is an orthodox Catholic adoption agency that requires that prospective parents have been married for a certain number of years, are in a good marriage, and do not think that they will divorce in the future. The second agency requires information from the potential parent regarding their yearly salary, criminal record, and any health concerns that may come up when the agency runs a background check. Finally, the third is a progressive adoption agency that only requires that the parent will be able to care for the child and does not have any history of child abuse and a criminal record. Which of these three agencies will the twice divorced single parent most likely meet the agencies requirements for? Options two and three. Each agency had its own prerequisites, but the first option most likely would require that the parent be Christian or Catholic, ask if she has annulled her past marriages, and if she regularly goes to church. The other two won’t be concerned with these type of questions. For this reason, she will still be able to adopt but it will be through organizations that she meets the requirements of. This scenario can be changed with a gay couple, atheists or Hindus, and for single parents. They will still be able to find access to an agency to become parents that is fine with certain lifestyles because they are not in a relationship with the state that will have its own criteria.
People are single for a number of reasons, the unmarried are a growing demographic in countries, and solutions need to be found to let them become parents. The two main ways are adoption or through in vitro fertilization for singles who want to become parents. Both of those options would have improved access for single parents if the state or federal government did create arbitrary definitions or worked with agencies that will naturally approve certain candidates and not others for adoption. The United States is a Constitutional Republic that is based upon federalism. All states have the ability to make their own laws and to test ideas as Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes famously stated in his dissent, “The ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas — that the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.” Some single parents may not be able to become parents in Texas because of the state’s laws and how it operates with foster care agencies. Those singles who really want to be parents should seek out an agency that will approve someone who is unmarried to become a parent through adoption rather than complain about the Texas’ new bill.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Mainstream music, like society, is obsessed with singing about dating, heartbreak from breakups, and becoming coupled. Those are the three main subjects covered by popular music artists. It is nearly impossible to find a musician singing about the joys and trials of being single, but the band Clean Bandit wrote a song about what it is like to be a single mom. It is a difficult job being a single mother and the Clean Bandit song “Rockabye” acknowledges this reality.
Society still believes in the traditional two parent model despite the changing dynamics and realities of modern society. Two parent households are on the decline. Single parent households are on the rise. Single parents become single mother and fathers by circumstance or choice. In the first instance; it happens when a partner leaves, a couple divorces, or has a baby while in high school or college. All three of these circumstances are unfortunate, but the realities for how women become single mothers. The other option is that people become single parents now by choice using surrogacy. But the song “Rockabye” talks about single mothers who became a single parent by circumstance and who are trying to deal with all the problems that it brings as best as they can.
According to the United States Census Bureau, 80% of all single-parent households are headed by single mothers (Table FG10). And when the data is studied closer, 49% of single mothers never married while 51% of single mothers were either divorced, widowed, or separated (FG6). These statistics by the Census Bureau shows that single mothers are more common than society wants to believe. Single mothers normally face a variety of hardships that include low incomes, poverty, and not having access to healthcare or education. While the song “Rockabye” does not acknowledge any of these problems that single mothers face specifically, it does recognize that a single mother is working hard to provide for her son to give him the best life that she can.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Maria Brink is the lead singer of the metal band In This Moment. In This Moment tackles interesting subject matter than most metal bands because the band has a female lead singer. Maria Brink is a single mother in the metal world as In This Moment is gaining a larger fan base. Maria Brink, while being a rock star, has learned to balance life on the road with raising her son as a single mother of metal.
Maria Brink has an adult son, but she had to learn to balance family life with touring with In This Moment. Early on in her career, Brink notes that when her son was younger she had to deal with her career and raising her son. As her son grew up and got involved in high school sports, she later would schedule tour dates around her son’s football season in order to attend the games. But when she was touring with In This Moment, she would stay in contact with his teachers to make sure he was doing well in school. In addition to being a single mother and staying involved with her son, Maria Brink is a female singer in the predominantly male world of rock and metal.
As one of the top front woman of metal, receiving an honorable mention by WatchMojo, Maria Brink provides theatrics with the hellpop and metal of In This Moment. The female voice provides an excellent contrast to the sometimes harsh sounds of rock and metal. However, since metal music is the genre of music most closely related to classical music in its form it works nicely. These strong women of metal also create a different image from the typical pop counter parts by tackling darker subjects and different themes than their male counterparts within the genre. In This Moment’s new album Black Widow tackles themes about societal standards for female beauty, love, and the role of women in society with a line about living behind a “white picket fence [in the suburbs]” (“Into The Darkness”, Black Widow).
Maria Brink may be one of the top front women in the world of rock and metal, but that is a debate for metal fans. In an interview, Brink explains that the lyrics she writes for In This Moment to “tell kids that they can believe in themselves and know that they can manifest anything in their lives.” As a single mother and a lead singer, Maria Brink provides a unique perspective in the world of music and addressing issues such as gender roles and human sexuality. If you are looking for to expand your musical horizons or to find new bands within the genre, In This Moment is worth checking out for the themes that the band addresses and for the lyrics and theatrics of Maria Brink.
hile the metal scene and metal music is not mainstream, the music tackles more important topics and issues than most pop music as Maria Brink does in Black Widow. Maria Brink owns here stage presence in a male dominated music scene. However, Maria Brink has also been able to work out the struggles of being a single parent, raising a son, and working on writing music and touring with In This Moment. Single parents and single mothers can learn from Maria Brink’s example by creating, planning, and incorporating a schedule and a list of priorities for the different areas of one’s life.
Maria Brink is the lead singer of In This Moment and a single mother. She may be a female rock star in the metal scene but she is a mother first to her son. Brink had to give up things and plan her schedule when her band toured around her son while working on her professional career as a musician. Single mothers, and single parents, can learn from her example by choosing what takes precedence in life and working to make them a reality.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Today is National Single Parents Day. Single Parents households have steadily been increasing in the United States since the 1960s. Secure wants to wish a happy National Single Parents Day to the growing number of single parents in the United States, single mothers and single fathers, and may you be able to enjoy a day that recognizes and celebrates all of the hard work, difficulties, and joys of single parents. Single mothers and single fathers are a growing household in America and should be respected for their hard work for raising children.
The definition of family has become more fluid since the 1960s in America, but single parents are less likely to be thought of encompassing the definition of ‘family’ today. Both single mothers and single fathers have increased in the United States since the 1960s. Single mothers account for a quarter of all American households while single fathers account for about eight percent of American households. But the fact is that “single parents have more than tripled as a share of American households since 1960” as the traditional two-parent have steadily declined in the United States.
Since the single parent household is on the rise, society should acknowledge single mothers and single fathers. National Single Parents Day on March 21st is a reasonable first step to moving forward and helping single parents gain recognition as being considered a family. Since America has moved away from the traditional heterosexual family as being the required standard by allowing others to marry and adopt children, society continues to neglect single parents. Many good steps have been successful in the United States to bring about equality for others, but single parents remain unequal to other family arrangements.
National Single Parents Day is a great first step to build up recognition and respect for single parents in America. Since the American family has evolved and other non-traditional arrangements are now becoming more acceptable in the United States, it is time to work for equality for the growing number of single parents. Today, on National Single Parents Day, America should consider its allegiance to freedom and equality by working to give single parents the same rights that others have gained with past Supreme Court rulings on marriage yet do not have since single parents continue to go unacknowledged by society despite the rise of the single parent family.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single parents are a growing household in the United States, but single father households are on the rise. There are different types of single fathers according to how single fathers decide to live their lives. Society should be aware of the different types of single fathers without stereotyping and stigmatizing them.
Contrary to the stereotype of single fathers, and single parents in general, there are a range of options available to single fathers. The individual situation of a single father’s circumstances and preferences influence lifestyle choices. Some circumstances that may sway single father’s decisions are going through a separation or a divorce from one’s partner and possibly having to fight for custody or for visitation rights for any children that a father may have had with a spouse. While going through any of those experiences are difficult on a single father and all parties involved, following those experiences a single father has to make other life decisions that impact both the father and the child. Some of the lifestyle options for a single father include cohabitation or living with a non-marital partner once a single father meets a new person. Nevertheless, for single fathers, there are more options available than what the societal stereotype portrays and what popular culture believes about single fathers. The societal and popular culture view is too simplistic. For this reason, the various types of single fatherhood and each individual’s particular situation of classifying single fathers more complex than society portray single fatherhood.
Similar to a project that Secure Single is currently working on of creating a spectrum of the range of singlehood to singleness, there seems to be a range for single fathers and for single parents (whether single fathers or single mothers). This continuum would generally apply to single parents, both single fathers and single mothers. Society should change its depiction of single parents and of since single fathers particularly because single father households currently outnumber those of single mothers. Ultimately though, the social stigma and stereotypes of single fathers and single mothers must change.
Society depicts fathers as being incompetent of being able to raise and to care for children. This is a problem since both two-married-parent households and single-parent households both face this problem, but it is especially a problem for single fathers since they face a society and popular culture that sends a negative messages and stereotypes about single fathers. Stereotypes are simple and easy. Single fatherhood is complex and difficult, despite what society may believe about any single fathers today as being unable to successfully raise a child without a mother.