There are many people who are single who may want to date, but they do not date people who want to have kids. Many millennials are already faced with student loan debt and are working to pay it off while getting their careers on track. It’s distracting thinking about dating, and even about starting a family. We all want what we want, but we must first be willing to work hard for it. Some people were lucky to be born with a silver spoon in their hand, or to have had their college paid for by their parents. When you have both emotions and have student loans to pay of, you have got to work hard and can’t; deal with any distractions. Every minute matters. Here’s the breakdown in three steps:
Student Loans
They really suck. Trade schools are smart to get into because you can instantly go to work with real skills that are marketable to the world. When You get a general degree, making yourself marketable is tougher. Picking up a side hustle, getting into sales, and starting your own company are great ways to begin to pay off your student loans. You want to work to pay off all your loans and get into a financial position where you can breathe.College is expensive, and not really worth it. Ugh!
Career Focused
Yes, it’s true that millennials are the largest age demographic to be single, unwed, and childless, but it is also true that due to the student loan debt we have we are geared towards making a living and paying it all off. It’s time to be responsible. It’s time to get focused in our careers. Kids and marriage can come later in life, but in your 20’s you have so much energy to make things happen. What you do NOW will affect the rest of your future. You Have to be so careful how you spend your time, and you have to work towards generating GOOD cash flow to set up your future to be bright.
Be Free From Kids
Why bring children into the world when the divorce rate is at 50% and growing, and we live in a world where people are afraid of commitment. Relationships are messy. We need to set things up to counterbalance these events from happening. Use birth control and don’t get emotionally involved. People don’t commit, so why have children with them, especially out of wedlock? Be smart, and be safe.
In order to love better and have a more liberated life, you have got to work hard for what you want. It may require more hours but hey it’s your life and you need to find a way to make it worth something. Get out of debt, focus on your career, and don’t mess around with non-committal people because relationships are messy as it is. When You focus on you, and are bettering your life, you are truly living and being in alignment with your true self and making every second count. There is not a minute to lose, so focus on your goals, write them down, take steps towards them every day, and make what you do count. You can do it, and you are worth it to make your dreams and goals happen! Go get it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There is a new movement that is in its infancy. It is the Childless Movement. There are many different types of people that could fit within this movement, but its focus is on the involuntarily childless. Those who are single and childless by choice should look into this movement and help it to gain momentum. Here is a look at the rise of the childless movement.
The Rise Of The Childless Movement
There are people who have chosen that they do not want to have children by sexual relations, adoption, or in vitro fertilization. They are single by choice. They are childless by choice. This childless movement can join those who are single by choice and childless by choice. In industrialized countries, where singles are a rising demographic, singles can join the movement by speaking out against society and popular culture’s pressure for singles to get married and have children. After all, there is nothing wrong with being single or childless.
Women who want to work to progress the fourth-wave of feminism to incorporate childlessness should act to ally these two movements. Feminism and the childless movement can work together to achieve shared goals. The childless movement is a perfect opportunity for women to express themselves and let their voices be heard. Women, especially single women, can give themselves a voice that it should not be a social obligation to marry and have children. Women do not need a husband. Women are fine single. Women can pursue a career and enjoy life child free. Those are main components of the childless movement that women should choose to embrace. It gives them independence to live their life how they wish without being restrained by the goal finding and having a husband, two-and-a-half kids, and a white picket fence. Being single and childless gives women freedom.
Freedom is the foundation of the single life. Singles are able to choose how to live life according to their own terms. Being childless gives independence since children are expensive, require time, and to be with them as they grow up. Singles can embrace permanent self-governance by making the decision to be single by choice. For singles who are single by choice, the childless movement aligns with the values of the single life. Singles and the childless can join together to propel what being single truly means in a society that worships the white picket fence. The white picket fence can be changed making it acceptable to being childless and single.
Summary
The childless movement should work to unite the power of the growing number of singles in countries. Singles who are single by choice can join to give more strength to the movement. It is time that singles and childless are respected by society. The childless movement is a necessary first step along with singles studies to change the perception of being single by society.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The topic of having children has been a long debated discussion for singles, and married couples. The people surveyed in most studies are people who have had children, are considering children, or do not have children at all are considered, even young people. People involved are single parents, unmarried singles, and married couples. Single adults who may be career oriented are also included in in the pool study.
Single, Childless, And Happy
The debate on having children, or not, can result in 1 of 4 outcomes:
- No Children and Happy
- No Children and Unhappy
- Children and Happy
- Children and Unhappy
There are many factors that can affect the experience each person has, which includes the financial situation of the parent, the general happiness level of the person excluding their parental status, and what type of cultural environment the person lives in. You could call it the good old, ‘nature vs. nurture’ comparison.
The two most common outcomes that we will focus on for today is people with or without children and their happiness levels.
The Pros
Some parents say that having children gives meaning to their lives, which is quite a fulfilling life goal for some. Some people are just wired differently, and are natural caregivers. This is not a bad characteristic. From a child’s perspective, having a parent who truly loves you and cares for your upbringing is a huge indicator of an emotionally stable and confident adult life.
You may call this perspective ‘Heart Work’. When money is not a factor, and neither is outside stress. This can be a good thing if you are prepared for it.
The Cons
It’s no secret that children are expensive. An article in the Washington Post reveals that families shell out an average of $13,000 a year, or appropriately $233,610 over the course of raising a child to age 17. Deciding not to have children can free up your finances, and can allow you more freedom to travel, invest, and get more educated.
Children are stressful, and cause parents a lot of anxiety during the initial child rearing stages. Not having children allows you the time and space to be more relaxed, and focus on having a better and higher quality life.
Another take is that people who are married experience a lot of change after a baby arrives. What is shocking is that parents are more likely to be depressed than their child-free counterparts, and that people without kids were happier than any other group, including empty nesters, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association.
Whether single or partnered up, your sex life also diminishes after having children. According to Psychology Today, parents don’t have enough energy for sex, they allow their children to sleep in the same bedroom, and planning for date night requires a lot of effort to schedule babysitters. In fact, having safe sex is really important for your overall health.
The overall quality of single life or married life declines as a result from time allocated into child rearing. This would be a definite indicator that having children decrease your happiness levels without a doubt.
Either way you look into it, people tend to do what makes them happy. Whether it may be a single adult who is rocking their career and loving it, or parents who feel more fulfilled after having children, one should look into what the pro’s and cons are for each side. Find out what makes you happy, and do more of it! As for now, rock what you’ve got, and have fun doing it.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The topic of having children has been a long debated discussion for singles, and married couples. First, understanding that the people surveyed in most studies are people who have had children, are considering children, or do not have children at all. People involved are single parents with or without children, and married couples with or without children.
The debate on having children, or not, can result in 1 of 4 outcomes
- No Children and Happy
- No Children and Unhappy
- Children and Happy
- Children and Unhappy
There are many factors that can affect the experience each person has, which includes the financial situation of the parent, the general happiness level of the person excluding their parental status, and what type of cultural environment the person lives in. You could call it the good old, ‘nature vs. nurture’ comparison.
The two most common outcomes that we will focus on for today is people with or without children and their happiness levels.
The Pros
It’s no secret that children are expensive. An article in the Washington Post reveals that families shell out an average of $13,000 a year, or appropriately $233,610 over the course of raising a child to age 17. Deciding not to have children can free up your finances, and can allow you more freedom to travel, invest, and get more educated.
Children are stressful and cause parents a lot of anxiety during the initial child rearing stages. Not having children allows you the time and space to be more relaxed, and focus on having a better and higher quality life.
Singles with no children have more freedom, and time. Two qualities that attribute to higher levels of happiness. And then there are some singles who simply do not have a desire to bear and rear children. This does not make them selfish. It is simply their personal choice. And it is a legitimate decision.
The Cons
People who are married experience a lot of change after a baby arrives. What is shocking is that parents are more likely to be depressed than their child-free counterparts and that people without kids were happier than any other group, including empty nesters, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association.
Whether single or partnered up, your sex life also diminishes after having children. According to Psychology Today, parents don’t have enough energy for sex, they allow their children to sleep in the same bedroom, and planning for date night requires a lot of effort to schedule babysitters. In fact, having safe sex is really important for your overall health.
The overall single life or marriage quality declines as a result from time allocated into child rearing. Boo.
Cultural Influences
Depending on where you live, and the influences you have around you, you may be pressured to have children or stay career oriented and single. Generally, as noted in All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister, women who live in cities tend to work more and have more social freedoms than their rural counterparts. The cultural effect has a big play on your parental status and happiness status.
Either way you look into it, people tend to do what makes them happy. Whether it may be a single adult who is rocking their career and loving it, or parents who feel more fulfilled after having children, one should look into what the pros and cons are for each side. Find out what makes you happy, and do more of it! As for now, rock what you’ve got, and have fun doing it.
Cheers,
Danielle