There are parties (or even Sunday brunches) that don’t seem to start until one of those extroverted flamboyant folks sashay into the room. Then the conversation doesn’t stop. People like this know the tips of how to make anyone like you in an instant.
In this article, you’ll learn the basics of how to make anyone like you. So what are these mystifying things that actually work? By doing these 7 things you’ll build a solid community of friends.
How To Make Anyone Like You In 7 Easy Steps
How to make anyone like you from the first meeting is to ask them questions
People who are genuinely interested in getting to know another person instantly seem like the most interesting person at the party. As humans, we like to talk about our favorite restaurants, gas stations, and hobbies. So when you give someone the prompt to talk about themselves from the beginning— they’ll create your attention.
Another sneaky how to make people want to talk you is to look for similarities
This ties in with the first tip. If you’re a more introverted person, you may have to practice throwing back the word ball — that is following up with things that are tied in with the other person’s speech.
Let’s say a person is telling you about their real estate business. It makes you think of your first home. So you can talk about the great experience you had with your real estate agent. When you let your brain guide you to the next thing you think of, you’re on the right track. Your brain can’t help but connect the dots to something that is related.
Another way to make anyone like you is to practice listening
Talking is a way of connecting with someone on a deeper level and so is listening. Have you ever told someone a story and you just knew they weren’t paying attention? This creates a disconnect. When someone is impatiently waiting to pounce on the conversation with their opinion, it’s obnoxious.
What makes someone like you is also the ability to learn from others
Being a know-it-all doesn’t create a connection. Saying “Yeah I know that” is more offputting that saying something like “That’s so interesting,” or “I didn’t know that,” or even a thoughtful head nod and an “Ohhhh really?” These kinds of works show people that you’re listening.
One of the best psychology tricks to get someone to like you is to mirror back what they say
If someone is explaining something you can say something like this: “So what you’re saying is . . .” or “Do you mean. . .?” This is another way to let the other person know you heard what they are saying and are really paying attention. This doesn’t come quickly for everyone. It does take practice.
How to make people fall in love with you in a friendly way is to offer support
I was co-hosting a party, and one of the guests immediately asked if I needed help with setting up anything. Guess what happened? I had an immediate good vibe toward this person. He was the only person to offer advice early in the evening.
Later another woman started walking around throwing away trash at the end of the party. I fell in love with her too! When you offer support, it makes people see you in a different light. Don’t do it just to be liked because you’re the last single in your group of friends.
Another thing you can do is ask to ask for help
If your friend is an expert at financial, you could pick her brain on what stocks she likes, or how to set up a 401K. People love to talk about what they know. So don’t be afraid to ask people questions (as long as it’s not like an interrogation.
Summary
When you follow these tips, you’ll know how to make anyone like you increase your social circle. Most of all learn how to let loose and connect with all the people around you. The world is here for you to explore.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Are you the last single in your friends’ group? In the age of social media people love to show off getting into a relationship, getting engaged, and getting married. There is no reason for you to feel sad or to be embarrassed that you are the last single in your friends’ group. Here are eight simple ways for how to deal with being single among your dating and married friends.
Are You The Last Single In Your Friends’ Group? Here Are 8 Ways To Deal
Don’t Feel Bad About Being Single
The first thing that you need to do is get over the negative stereotypes and stigmas associated with being single. They are not true! Choose today to start to look at being single and the single life in a positive light. You should not feel bad because you’re the only uncoupled friend in your friend group.
Hang Out With Your Coupled Friends
Make a point to hang out with your coupled friends. You don’t need to begin dating someone to hang out with your friends. You knew them before they were in relationships and you will know them afterward if those relationships work out or they break up or end in divorce.
Go On Your Own Adventures
The single life offers you the opportunity to go on your own adventures. Solo travel and see the world alone. Try a new restaurant. Dine alone. Do something different. Take a chance. Go on your own adventures!
Tell Your Friends How You Feel
Tell your friends how you feel about being single. Being single is not the end of the world and romantic relationships do not give ultimate meaning to life. Be honest with your friends and tell them exactly how you feel when you are not invited out because you would be the third-wheel and work to change their minds. Tell your friends how you feel about being single.
Be You
The most important thing that you can learn in life is to just be you. Focus on the things that you enjoy. Work to develop personal and professional skills. Work to develop the best version of yourself. Just be you! Do not let anyone change you.
Embrace Your Singlehood
The single life is worth living and you can embrace singlehood even though your friends are all coupled up. After you accept singlehood, you can adopt the values of the single life.
Be Patient If You Want a Relationship
If you are a relationship-oriented single and you want to be in a romantic relationship be patient but in the meantime use your time being single to focus on you. This is a time to learn more about yourself and to figure out what you want in a partner.
Enjoy Being Single By Choice
If you are single by choice, embrace it fully and let your friends and family know! You are single and off the market.
Being the last single in your friends’ group is actually a positive position to be in among your social group. It is a chance for you to grow into the person who you want to become and to work to achieve your life goals. Take your status as the single in your friends’ group to educate your coupled friends about the benefits of the single life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being single gets a bad rap from people and society because it is often thought that if you are not dating someone or living with a partner, then you are either anti-social or there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with being single, whether you are single by circumstance or single by choice. Despite popular thought, singles are more social than their coupled and married counterparts. Here are five reasons why being single does not mean you are anti-social or not part of a community because the single life provides freedom.
Singles Are Less Insulated Than Their Coupled Friends
The reality of life is that once you start dating someone, and later maybe marry someone, you become more insulated. This is because two people have committed to each other and as a result have moved to be closer to one of the partner’s families. The partner who most often moves closer to their partner’s family is the husband since the wife wants to be closer to family. This is not always the case, but this is very common. The newly married couple now mostly does activities with their family and family’s friends and does not get out as much compared to their single friends.
While those who are coupled up and married become more insulated, those who are single and unmarried are free to explore and make use of the freedom that the single life offers them. Singles are not committed to a person that also makes them a son-in-law or daughter-in-law to someone else’s family that brings additional obligations with marriage. Singles are able to make the most of their life to work on self-discovery, health, and their career. There is nothing wrong with being single and there is no reason why singles should be in a hurry to get hitched. Being single is fucking awesome!
Singles Have More Friends
Singles have a wider network and more friends than their married counterparts because they are able to meet more people and build new relationships. People who are married become more insulated and are unable to meet new people as they start a new family and stay confined within both of their familial network. This results in them having fewer friends and having less of an ability to meet new people compared to their single friends. Singles are able to go out when they want to, during the week or weekend when they want, while couples have to coordinate with their partner and possibly their family before they are able to go out. Singles should make the most of their unmarried life and meet new people to learn about other peoples’ life experiences and worldviews. Go out, meet people, and make friends singles!
Singles Volunteer More Than Their Coupled Friends
Again, since people who are dating or who are married become insulated and they have other priorities and they have less time to volunteer and to help their community. It has been found that singles volunteer more compared to their married friends. This is not surprising. Couples are committed to each other and in helping their partner and family to do well. Singles are often most interested in personal development, self-discovery, and helping to improve their community. For this reason, singles naturally are able to volunteer in their communities from their church, helping students, to political campaigns because there are not restrained by another person. Singles are able to allocate their time and volunteer for a cause they believe in!
Singles Are More Social Than Their Coupled Friends
Because singles are not restrained by a partner or have to work with a partner to do activities, singles are more social. Singles can try out new places where they live and talk to new people where they visit. The result the flexibility that the single life provides singles allows them to attend more events, explore their city, and to meet new people, and develop their personal network. There would be less opportunity for singles to do this if they were in a relationship. Singles should be open to meeting new people and exploring where they live!
Singles Can Build Their Own Community and Network
While couples become more insulated within their extended families and their own family, singles are able to build their own community and network. Singles are able to do this by meeting like-minded people in their community by attending events, volunteering for causes, and networking with professionals in their industry and industries that they are interested in as a professional. Community is important because human connection is part of the hierarchy of needs and it is healthy for singles to have interaction with other people. Singles should also work to build their career, business, and professional network. Networking is an important skill and your network can help you find people for future endeavors that you may have as a single professional.
Summary
There is a myth believed by society and people that if you are single, you are isolated and alone. Nothing is further from the truth. Singles are more social and have a larger community than their married friends. This is a simple list that only explains five simple ways why singles are in fact not isolated, alone, or anti-social but are in fact more involved and have a better social life than their married counterparts. Being single is great and there is no rush for singles to get married and to become restrained by a romantic relationship.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being single is a universal state that everyone can relate to, because at one point or another everyone has been single. During this holiday season, we all know that if you are in your 20’s and 30’s without a significant other, then people are going to be asking what’s up. The key is to keep calm and carry on. Here are some tips to keep your cool while being a charming guest at any dinner party over the holidays.
Relate Being Single Back to the Person Asking the Question
Feeling singled out for being single? Reverse the question, and ask what your family member or friend enjoyed most about their single times. Make it relate-able. You can keep it light and friendly, there is no need to sweat. I am sure everyone can relate to a time in their life they enjoyed while being single. It is deemed one of the most important times when you make decisions. You might also add in that you enjoy what you have going on at the current moment, and are happy for your fiends and family members who have a significant other. Appreciation goes a long way.
Benefits of the Single Life
Single + Freedom are two words that go together nicely. Not to say that some couples have freedom, it just is easier when you have one person to look out for. Think about the positives: you can live wherever you choose, you can travel where you want, you can change careers, you can freelance and work 12 hour days and not feel guilty about it. You also tend to have a larger group of friends when you are single. Hey, rejoice that your happy about being single! It’s all about focusing on the positives.
Express that You are Taking Time to get to Know Yourself
No person will rightfully make you feel guilty about being single. Perhaps you’ve taken a break to clear some emotional air, and need time to develop your spirituality, your career, and your values. We are all in this together. If your friends are understanding, they will love you no matter what. If they judge you, then hey you might need to find friends that celebrate you. Just be yourself, and let people know where your at. Sometimes people just need an answer, and as the confident single person you are, you can say that you are gearing up to backpack across Europe while you build up your freelance career and find yourself. Wahoo!
Summary
This holiday season don’t have the blues. Remember that you are a fantastic human being and are worthy of love and appreciation. Being single is great, and you should appreciate what you have right now. Life should be an exciting adventure, so live it up, find your passion for career, and take it to the next level. During this time, allow yourself to make discoveries about yourself. When you love and appreciate who you are, and make progress towards accomplishing career and health goals, you might just meet someone in the same walk of life. Enjoy your life, and love what you do, it will make this time being single a lot more fun – and trust me, you are worth it to be able to enjoy your life. Live it up!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Excited about the upcoming December holidays but don’t know what to bring to your friends white elephant party? There is no need to worry, as this gift guide is here to help you find the perfect gift. Before we begin, what is a white elephant gift, and where did this name originate from? The term white elephant refers to an extravagant but burdensome gift that cannot be easily disposed of, based on the legend of the King of Siam giving rare albino elephants to courtiers who had displeased him, that they might be ruined by the animals’ upkeep costs. Fast forwarding to today, the term white elephant just means that a group of people pick a name and anonymously give a gift to the person whose name was drawn or follow another variation of the exchange. The gifts can be useful, silly, or even edible. There is no burdensome gift that is commonly given in today’s holiday exchange. Here are some ideas you’ll like!
5 White Elephant Christmas Present Ideas For Singles
Festive Ugly Christmas Sweater
This is a NOVELTY item everyone should have. You never know when you need one to wear to those end of the year parties. And the best part about giving and Ugly Sweater is that the uglier the better!
Alcohol
Okay, so we are not in middle school anymore. As a responsible adult, we can appreciate a good drink. You may want to check out some seasonal alcohols or gift alcoholic present ideas, and pick up a bottle of rum-infused eggnog. You’ll want to be careful about this gift only if you know one of your friends is an AA member. If your friend likes to party, this gift is perfect!
Cards Against Humanity
This gift is a hilarious card game that involves a group of people. When you get together with friends, pulling this game out is sure to bring laughter around the room. Like the ugly sweater, this is also a novelty item. Take heed – you may find out more about your friends while playing this game! It’s a win-win!
Fruit Cake
I don’t know why, but this is a traditional holiday item I see almost every year. You can either buy this item, or make it yourself with love. This white elephant gift is naughty and nice, because you have the healthy fruit component and the sweet cake side. Your gift is shareable, and your friends will love it. Go for the fruit cake, it’s great! for a white elephant present
Mittens
You can either buy or make mittens, and they are a great seasonal item for those who live in colder climates. You can give your gift knowing it will be put to good use, and your friends hands will be kept warm. It’s a feel good gift for sure, and if you do not know where to purchase mittens, head to a local holiday gift show, they are sure to have them,
Are you still having trouble finding a white elephant gift? This may be a useful guide for you to check out.
Summary
Got your gift, and ready to go? Well then, great work! The nice thing about white elephant parties are that they are great for single people because it is one gift to a group of friends, and when everyone participates it can be a lot of fun because everyone gets a gift. So have fun this holiday season, stay bundled up and warm, and don’t forget to enjoy the experience. Cheers this holiday season!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
In order to live a complete and fulfilled life, it is essential to have strong and deep meaningful relationships with the people who bring us up and bring out the best in us. Millennials are in the constant grind of completing college and getting established in the workforce. It can be a rat race, and our lives can be stressful and lonely. To combat those low-level feelings, we need a team of people we can count on emotionally. Good relationships bounce us backup after we have fallen. It is up to us to nurture and foster a loving environment for our relationships to become deep and meaningful. Here are three ways you can improve your relationships today!
Spend Time With Loved Ones
Time flies by, so spend time with your friends. Make time to be with your friends and plan activities around relaxation, being in nature, and working out. Drinking is nice to do if it’s a special holiday or birthday, but alcohol tends to make things worse if you are working to improve relationships. Be present, be attentive, and stay focused. These are important relationships you need to work, to try your best to be completely present for each person who is special in your life. It’s important, and you need to be emotionally available to help your friends when they need you!
Be Honest About Your Life Experience
Too often, we keep secrets from others because we are afraid of what they will think. Take a moment to meditate on why you do this. Is it because you are afraid others will not like the real you? If so, why are you pretending to be someone else? Come as you are and welcome your authentic, non-ego self into the present. You will feel more comfortable in your skin. By being open and honest about your life experiences, you are being your authentic self. You are being, you! In truth, you will attract the right people if you are yourself, and if you are not being yourself then you will attract people who are not like you and may not ultimately approve of yourself. Be you, do your best, and know that you are a diamond!
Trust Your Friends
Until proven differently, work hard to trust people you care about. It can be hard to trust if you grew up in a household where you weren’t loved, or even had a lover or friend you trusted deeply break that trust. To live complete, begin to trust again. Being hurt is temporary, so learn to let go and focus on what is happening now. Do not worry if you are uncertain of the future, you have absolutely no control over the future, you only have control over the current moment. Holding on to the past or worrying about the future will only keep you from loving and enjoying the present moment. Learn to let go, learn to trust, and learn to love life and enjoy it to the fullest. You are worthy of love and trust, so start today to show your friends you love them by trusting them completely.
Start today by intentionally making an active effort to do your best to improve relationships by being attentive and being your true self. When you open up and trust life, life tends to be there for us. Make sure you do your best every day, show up on time, make things work, and be happy. Every day is a new day for a fresh start. If is your life, so take back control today!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There is a common idea held by society that when two people get together after 7 pm that it is a date. This misconstrues relationships into being things that they are not and affects friendships. Two people can meet after 7 pm who are friends to catch up and have a good conversation without it being a date. Here are seven reasons why any two people can meet up after 7 pm and it is not a date.
Work Gets In The Way So It’s The Only Time
One person may work long hours and they are not able to meet with their friends any other time of the day. Since they are busy with work and finishing what they need to do in their life, 7 pm works the best for the two friends to get together.
Friends Can Get Together Anytime
There are twenty-four hours in a day. Friends can meet anywhere at any time to have a conversation. 7 pm does not change the nature of the relationship. Time is an accidental cause while friendship is intrinsic. People can be hang out with friends after 7 pm without it being a date.
A Conversation Over Dinner
There are people who enjoy food who are known as foodies. These friends may want to visit the hot new restaurant in town and 7 pm is generally when restaurants are the busiest so it is the best time to get the complete experience. They can also try the menu and enjoy each other’s company. Again, not a date. Two friends who like good food.
A Conversation Over Drinks
Cocktail lounges and speakeasies are making a comeback. The best ones don’t open until 5 pm. Depending on the time of the week and schedules, 7 pm or later works best for two friends to meet to enjoy a well-crafted cocktail by a master mixologist.
Good or Best Friends
The friends who are willing to work with their friend’s schedule to meet later in the day most likely are good or best friends. They enjoy hanging out with each other and share enough mutual interests that they can have a great conversation anywhere and at any time of the day. The time of day does not dictate when friends can and cannot go out to a place to hang out.
Evenings Are More Interesting
Mornings and afternoon get together with friends often mean meeting for coffee or maybe a quick drink somewhere during happy hour. Those can both be great, but evenings and nights are when cities come alive and people start to have fun at bars and restaurants. After 7 pm is when people start to cut loose because they can finally relax after their day and have fun! This is when popular bars and night clubs start to get customers and it is a time for when friends can get together for a fun night.
Friendships Do Not End After 7 PM
Again, the time and the place where two people decide to meet after 7 pm does not dictate that it must be a date. The time could have been decidedly upon randomly or it could have been planned by the two friends for the above reasons. Excuse me, but I have to meet a friend for cocktails and it is after 7 pm. It is definitely not a date.