5 Life Experiences Singles Should Have Before A Relationship

I believe it’s important to take care of your curiosities and bucket list items as a single before opening up a new chapter as a person in a committed relationship. It has been said many times that you have more autonomy and freedom as a single person, than you do in a relationship with compromise. You may have heard about the horror stories of people who got too serious too fast in a relationship and ended up imploding their own by suppressing their curiosities that a person may have never fulfilled before entering into a committed relationship. As an anecdote to cheating, risky behavior, or downright dangerous acts, relieving yourself of these five things may be just the key to saving yourself from heartache should you enter a committed relationship. So with that in mind, let’s break down the five most important things to do before you get into a committed relationship. Here are five life experiences singles should have before a relationship.

5 Life Experiences Singles Should Have Before A Relationship

Travel

This goes without saying, but I will say it anyway: see as much of the world before you go and settle down. The true you can travel the world with your S.O., but it can be a lot more difficult when you have a family. Travel. See places you have never seen before. Go and find adventure out in the world. Talk to other people who also travel and visit exotic places in packs. You will be more well-rounded and live a richer and fuller life.

Work Your Ass Off

Yes, you should definitely do this.  You have more free time now than you ever imagined right now as a single. Work your ass off now to set the future for your 30’s and 40’s. It may seem like a long time away, but the time will come when you reach those age groups. Work your ass off now to save money, make money, and also take EXTREMELY good care of your body. It is the only house you have to live in. When You work your ass off, you build a good work ethic. An extremely handy skill that all intelligent business owners will revere.

Hook Up With That Person You Think Is Hot

See that hot guy or girl across the room? Secretly you want to hook up with them, get their number, or have an engaging conversation with them. Don’t be shy. You could have the opportunity of a lifetime in front of you and feel fulfilled if you go over and talk with them. It may even be a friend that deemed you ‘friend-zoned’. Give it your all — life is seriously too short to go about being too scared to try anything. If it turns out to be a simple ‘no’ from the receiving end, you will at least know that you explored the opportunity and increased your odds because you asked. If you get a ‘yes!’, lady luck is on your side – only because you had the courage to get out there and try. Go for it!!

Adore Friends Babies, Hand Them Back

Some of us want kids, and some of us don’t. That’s quite alright. But that doesn’t stop you from adoring your new baby nephew or supporting your best friend with a new baby girl. The matter of the fact is that the baby is not your responsibility – yay! Good news for you: you can be supportive, show your adoration and appreciation for new life, and hand it back shortly after coddling the newborn. Wa-la! You are now free to go about your business. Breathe because you are still free.

Discover The REAL You!

Too often in life, I feel that people live their daily lives without connecting deeply with others, simply because they do not know enough about themselves. Take this time while you are single to FIX yourself, find yourself, nurture yourself, and link the wounds from the mistakes you made earlier on. The good news about being single is that you have so much time to yourself to learn about yourself. I have made countless mistakes in society and learned a lot. I wouldn’t take back any lesson learned for anything, as each stupid mistake I have made has taught me about the world and how I relate to myself. Discover the real you. Learn how you bleed, show your true colors, and be proud of it. Your vibe will eventually attract your tribe. So stand up, dust yourself off, and be the beautiful, strong, passionate, wonderful person you were made to be. And remember, to human is to err.

Satisfy your hunger beforehand, and you will lead a more fulfilled, and perhaps have some better stories to tell your S.O. if or when the time comes. For now, signing out. Stay secure, singles!

Cheers,
Danielle

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

10 Reasons Why Singles Should Celebrate Not Being In a Relationship This Christmas

There are many reasons why singles should be thankful not to be in a relationship or married this holiday season. You get to enjoy the holiday season alone, with friends, or with family. It is up to you how you want to celebrate the holidays. Here are ten reasons why being single during the holidays is great and why you should be thankful that you don’t have a significant other this holiday season.

Save Money

One of the great things about single is saving to prepare for your future or for that gift that you want to give yourself this Christmas. If you were dating someone, you would have to buy them a gift this Christmas. Depending on the person who you are dating, that gift may be expensive along with the other gifts that you have to buy for both your family and their family this Christmas.

Avoid Family Fights

Holidays. The time once or twice a year where families come together and have family fights. As a single, you can choose if you want to go home to participate in this annual event or find a way to celebrate in the city that you live in.

 

Don’t have to Buy Gifts for a Significant Other

Gifts often cost money. There are things that you have to pay for from student loans to rent to food each month. The cost of gifts cut into the money that you can put towards those necessities that will provide you more freedom once they are payed off or you are prepared to move towards the next step in your adult life.

Kiss Anyone Under the Mistletoe

Another fun reason to be single during the holidays is that you don’t have to only kiss your significant other under mistletoe, if you had one. You can kiss anyone who is under the mistletoe with you at Christmas parties this Christmas. Get practicing now and get some under the mistletoe this holiday season.

Christmas Parties

Christmas and holiday parties are everywhere! You can hang out with friends who are hosting a party. You can visit a bar or club that is having a party. This is a great chance to explore your city, try new places, and enjoy the festivities of the holiday season.

Learn to Make Eggnog

Real eggnog is a punch. It uses a couple different types of liquor, milk, sugar, and ice cream. It is creamy and delicious. Learn how to make it this holiday season and show it off to your friends at your next holiday party. You will become everyone’s favorite friend during the holidays after you learn to make traditional alcoholic eggnog. It is that delicious.

Stay Home or Travel

No significant other. Check. Family. Sure. You’re an adult so you get to decide where you want to spend your holiday. You could stay home in your city or go visit your family. You could also travel and explore the world during the holidays. It is your Christmas, You can decide where and with whom you want to spend it with on your own terms.

Relax

Christmas time can be hectic. It is fine to choose to relax and stay inside with a hot cup of cocoa (spiked is optional). You can watch your favorite tv shows, read, or work on projects that you have meaning to finish but never got around to finishing on time. Relax from the holidays.

Free from Couples

The single life offers freedom and flexibility. Being is a couple means restraint and unadaptable. As a single you are free from couples, except for friends and family who are couples. But you are free to do your own thing because you are not dating and are uncoupled! You get to decide how you want to celebrate the holiday season on your own!

Free from Obligations

Besides any family obligations if you go home for Christmas, you are free from holiday obligations. You are able to spend the holiday exactly how you want. You can go to as many or as little Christmas parties as you want. You can be happy during the holidays or you can be a Scrooge or Grinch this season. It is up to you since you have no holiday obligations, you can plan how to spend Christmas.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Single Woman Takes Pride in Career Driven Life

Single Woman Takes Pride in Career-Driven Life

A lot of women get slammed for choosing their careers and being assertive. Those traditional values, no matter how old they are, seem to still be sticky with our current time. Sarah Silverman, 46, is a career-focused woman and a symbol for modern day Feminism.

In a recent Twitter statement, Sarah stated that she decided to live her life to the fullest over becoming a mother. Simply noting that men do not have the same responsibilities as the woman does when it comes to raising a family. Women who work and bring home big paychecks are frowned upon because they aren’t tending to the children or pleasing their husband, though, on the contrary men are praised for it. Times are changing, and they are changing fast.

Trending since the big Feminist movement in the 1960’s, women are now more independent that ever: taking on bigger challenges at work, leading companies as CEO’s, and starting their own companies.

Why on earth would any woman today not take advantage of all the resources available to become the most independent, financially secure, and influential woman that she can be?

Raising a family should not be the only thing a woman hopes for. There are so many bigger things out there to do: see the world, live freely, do as you please, travel where you want. Women have so much freedom available at their fingertips.

Should a woman who chooses her career over being a mother be ridiculed? No, there should be nothing but praise – go get ‘em, girl!

Women and men need to move past these traditional values and accept the fact that not all little girls aspire to be a mom, they aspire to be powerful and influential career women at the top of their game.

Women have the right to speak their minds. In one of her latest statements, @SarahKSilverman tweets: “As a comic always working & on the road I have had to decide between motherhood & living my fullest life & I chose the latter. Men don’t have to do that. I’d so love to be a fun dad, coming home from the road & being my best fun dad self. So this is just a lil fuck all y’all bc u can’t be a woman w/out sacrifice & that’s the fact jack.”

Her tweet received 242 Retweets and 2,972 likes.

Strong words are often met by strong oppression. In a recent article by Carly Hoilman, she states, “to imply that motherhood is a barrier to living a “full” life smacks of the sort of bitterness and condescension typical of the modern feminist movement.”
What Carly fails to understand is the economics behind the positives of focusing your responsibility on your career. Without the heavy responsibility of raising children and being a housewife (if there are any #divorcerate), a woman has more freedom to make important decisions in her life, and to lead a life much more exciting and rewarding through following your life’s purpose. To afford a nice house, travel the world, own your own company, and provide for yourself is much more exciting than leading a lesser economic position as a mere woman who never reached her full potential, only aspiring to be a mother.

Women need to be aware of the opportunities they have, and all of the potential there is. Either way, follow what you believe in. Go after it!

 

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

 

Single is Sexy: Freedom

Society and popular culture places couples on a pedestal, despite Millennials delaying marriage or deciding to remain single. Because singlehood is on the rise, the societal perception of single people must change. Single is sexy for individuals who are currently single and for individuals who have decided to remain single because being single gives freedom, mobility, and autonomy to people. Freedom is hot for singles because each individual has their own prerogative to choose how to live.

Society, popular culture, and individuals primarily associate the word sexy as meaning that something or someone is sexually attractive, sexually exciting, or a cause of sexual arousal. However, sexy also means that something is exciting or appealing. Freedom is sexy. Freedom provides singles to act and do as they please because they are not constrained by the matters that couples must discuss together.

With being single comes the ability to ability to go where one wants, for singles this is both a strength and a weakness. Freedom is a strength because singles may freely do whatever they want at any time. Singles can visit new places, go to happy hours, and find events that are of particular interest to each individual single. Singles have generally have a more open schedule than couples, but this free schedule can be a potential problem for singles.

Freedom can be a weakness for singles because singles may focus on doing what they want to do rather than what they may need to do. To fight against freedom as a weakness, singles should consider making a list of priorities and following a calendar, loosely or closely depending on the single, to better stay on top of different tasks. These could range from places singles need to be, upcoming events, and meeting that need singles must attend. After establishing a timetable, the truly free time appears and then a single person can choose how one wants to spend that time while not having to worry that one may be forgetting something that must get done.

 

There are many strengths to living the single life, but the main three are the freedom, mobility, and autonomy that the single life offers to individuals. Being single is sexy because of the freedom that the single life offers. As Millennials continue to delay marriage and continue to remain single, the single life and the single lifestyle is on the rise despite mainstream society failing to recognize it.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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