I don’t really know what’s wrong with the world, and how we got here, but I do know we can fix ourselves to be a better life position in financial health, physical health, and emotional health. Many of us experience traumas devastating heartaches that make it difficult us to love others, and that is when we are labeled ‘emotionally unavailable’. We want to work on ourselves and know that it is okay to be emotionally available, for now. To work past traumas and become more whole and complete people, we need to work on ourselves, to heal the past so we can be fully present to create the future that we make into a glorious and abundant life. We are worth it, and we can begin today to heal ourselves from emotionally unavailable to a whole and complete person today. Follow these three steps if you are single by circumstance and emotionally unavailable.
Take Inventory Of Yourself
This can mean writing down all the mistakes you have made, and to develop a way to forgive yourself. Let others know you are sorry for hurting them, if you have done so, and begin to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. This begins the healing process and helps you start to get to the root of why you are emotionally unavailable.
Start Going To Group Therapy
You will actually enjoy the process of going to group therapy. It is a way to be open and honest with yourself to others. We all have issues, and when we can talk about them it helps to release all the pent up hurts to clear the way for healthier thoughts and feelings to grow. It all starts with the willingness to release the past, and begin to think better thoughts about healthy, post[equity, and loving relationships. There are people all around us who have a balanced life. You can have it too. Group therapy helps us to release our feelings in a safe environment.
Do Things That Build You Up
Often when we are working to become emotionally available for our friends and family, doing activities with people that build us up help polish us into stronger and more confident people. Spend time with people that celebrate you and make you feel good, and in turn, celebrate your friends for their amazing characteristics and rejoice that you have good relationships. Friends make life a great place to live. In fact, when you do sports activities with friends, you build a memory that trend gens your relationships. When you do healthy activities and creative activities, you grow as a person.
From Emotionally Unavailable To Emotionally Available
Through all this, remember that it is possible to be emotionally available as a single person. You can begin being emotionally available when you are ready to build deeper and more meaningful relationships. It is possible for you to be able to connect with people, and to live a fulfilling life with others. You can begin today by following the simple process. Live the life you desire, and be a full single person. You can do it, and you can begin today to start the process. You are worth it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being single is awesome! And here is why. During this holiday season, we remind you of some special benefits only singles have. Being around friends and family during Christmas and New Years just got even better. When you are single, you have many doors open for you to experience new things and to also take time to go at your own pace when it comes to life, relationships, and career status. Being single is the time you have to ‘figure it all out’, but of course that is a lifelong journey. It is just easier when you’re a single-mingle guy or gal. Here are five ways that remind you the holidays can be exciting. Here’s how you can be even better during it all. Here are five ways to be your best single self during holidays!
5 Ways To Be Your Best Single Self During Holidays
Travel Is Affordable
When you are single, like many of us millennials, then you’ve got a more affordable travel ticket. Most 60% of millennials do not have any children, which means that over half of millennials don’t have to worry about purchasing children tickets, or even their spouses’ ticket.
You Can Drink
This may be one of the most fun parts of the holiday season. You can drink and be merry! Often times, you may have a significant other (S.O.) who works to constricts what you can/can’t do, or has an agreement with you that makes you have certain boundaries. As a single, you can break free, and do what pleases you!
You Can Have 1-on-1 With Your Family
Without dragging along a significant other, you can be present with all your family members to greet them, help in the kitchen, and spend quality time playing card games. You have a special time to spend with your family, and can do so without distractions.
Dress How You Want
Sometimes couples dress alike, or your significant other tries to tailor what you wear. Don’t worry about that this season, because being single allows you to be an individual, with no ball and chain. This is why you can be even better as a single person, without worrying about what to wear. So what if your dress is a little short, or your clothes just don’t match. Wear what you want without having an S.O.’s opinion guide you.
You Can Become More Emotionally Stable
Many times when you date someone, you become emotionally enthralled with the other person. You depend on them emotionally, and sort of lose your sense of independence. The holidays can be an initial time for many of us, and when we have our independence to be emotionally stable, we don’t have to worry about a significant other to depend out emotional well-being on. You can be better by being independent.
Summary
This holiday season, be even better as a single person by being independent and working your butt off to appreciate what you have. Work to love your single life and the independence it brings to you. Enjoy your holiday season, and have fun with your family, drinking and being merry, and being emotionally independent.
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being single gets a bad rap from people and society because it is often thought that if you are not dating someone or living with a partner, then you are either anti-social or there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with being single, whether you are single by circumstance or single by choice. Despite popular thought, singles are more social than their coupled and married counterparts. Here are five reasons why being single does not mean you are anti-social or not part of a community because the single life provides freedom.
Singles Are Less Insulated Than Their Coupled Friends
The reality of life is that once you start dating someone, and later maybe marry someone, you become more insulated. This is because two people have committed to each other and as a result have moved to be closer to one of the partner’s families. The partner who most often moves closer to their partner’s family is the husband since the wife wants to be closer to family. This is not always the case, but this is very common. The newly married couple now mostly does activities with their family and family’s friends and does not get out as much compared to their single friends.
While those who are coupled up and married become more insulated, those who are single and unmarried are free to explore and make use of the freedom that the single life offers them. Singles are not committed to a person that also makes them a son-in-law or daughter-in-law to someone else’s family that brings additional obligations with marriage. Singles are able to make the most of their life to work on self-discovery, health, and their career. There is nothing wrong with being single and there is no reason why singles should be in a hurry to get hitched. Being single is fucking awesome!
Singles Have More Friends
Singles have a wider network and more friends than their married counterparts because they are able to meet more people and build new relationships. People who are married become more insulated and are unable to meet new people as they start a new family and stay confined within both of their familial network. This results in them having fewer friends and having less of an ability to meet new people compared to their single friends. Singles are able to go out when they want to, during the week or weekend when they want, while couples have to coordinate with their partner and possibly their family before they are able to go out. Singles should make the most of their unmarried life and meet new people to learn about other peoples’ life experiences and worldviews. Go out, meet people, and make friends singles!
Singles Volunteer More Than Their Coupled Friends
Again, since people who are dating or who are married become insulated and they have other priorities and they have less time to volunteer and to help their community. It has been found that singles volunteer more compared to their married friends. This is not surprising. Couples are committed to each other and in helping their partner and family to do well. Singles are often most interested in personal development, self-discovery, and helping to improve their community. For this reason, singles naturally are able to volunteer in their communities from their church, helping students, to political campaigns because there are not restrained by another person. Singles are able to allocate their time and volunteer for a cause they believe in!
Singles Are More Social Than Their Coupled Friends
Because singles are not restrained by a partner or have to work with a partner to do activities, singles are more social. Singles can try out new places where they live and talk to new people where they visit. The result the flexibility that the single life provides singles allows them to attend more events, explore their city, and to meet new people, and develop their personal network. There would be less opportunity for singles to do this if they were in a relationship. Singles should be open to meeting new people and exploring where they live!
Singles Can Build Their Own Community and Network
While couples become more insulated within their extended families and their own family, singles are able to build their own community and network. Singles are able to do this by meeting like-minded people in their community by attending events, volunteering for causes, and networking with professionals in their industry and industries that they are interested in as a professional. Community is important because human connection is part of the hierarchy of needs and it is healthy for singles to have interaction with other people. Singles should also work to build their career, business, and professional network. Networking is an important skill and your network can help you find people for future endeavors that you may have as a single professional.
Summary
There is a myth believed by society and people that if you are single, you are isolated and alone. Nothing is further from the truth. Singles are more social and have a larger community than their married friends. This is a simple list that only explains five simple ways why singles are in fact not isolated, alone, or anti-social but are in fact more involved and have a better social life than their married counterparts. Being single is great and there is no rush for singles to get married and to become restrained by a romantic relationship.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many reasons why people are single. Some love being single. Some really just want to be in a relationship. For singles who desire a relationship; but who are currently single, they are single by circumstance. There is nothing wrong with being single and those are single by circumstance should wait until the right person comes along to date again.
Being single is often portrayed as being sad and lonely by the media and society. The single life’s values include independence and flexibility. Those who are single by circumstance can use the single life as a time of personal self-discovery, to learn more about themselves, and to prepare themselves for a future partner. While you are single, learn to take care of yourself and how to do basic home essentials from shopping to cleaning the house. This and other basic life skills that will better prepare you to assist your partner with household chores.
Those who are single by circumstance should take the opportunity of being single to learn more about themselves and go on life journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery will allow singles to learn more about their likes, dislikes, and their life values. After you know what those you, you can determine if you are ready and find a compatible partner and want to no longer be single. This journey of self-discovery will help single prepare to find a compatible partner and they will know more about who they are as a person and mature in preparation for a potential life partner. Embrace your time as a single and prepare yourself for the one. Ultimately “the one” does not exist.
Soulmates are a myth. There are no soulmates. It is best to invest in yourself. If you choose to eventually date and marry, recognize that there is no perfect partner or spouse. “The one” is an illusion.
The single life provides flexibility and freedom. Singles can travel and explore the world while they are single by circumstance. Singles can also save, invest, and develop their professional skills to be able to provide for a partner and possibly a family. The single life is a great time to gain confidence and to build social skills so that you can talk and read nonverbal signals well from potential partners at social events. For those who are single by circumstance, take the opportunity and single life values to grow and mature in preparation for dating and finding a partner.
Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with being single and singles should not feel pressure to jump back into the dating scene. Those who are single by circumstance should be patient, focus on their career, and develop themselves and enter the dating scene only when they are ready and able to commit to a potential partner. Until that time comes, singles should enjoy the single life and not view being single as a negative life experience. Being single has plenty to offer and those who are single by circumstance can take advantage of all that the single life offers while single.
