The Loneliness Epidemic is a growing problem as people are becoming increasingly lonely in the United States and around the world. While the problem of loneliness is a problem which people face whether they are single, in a relationship, or married there are ways to deal with loneliness. These are twelve tips to help those who are dealing with loneliness on how to beat loneliness and the Loneliness Epidemic.
12 Ways How To Beat Loneliness And The Loneliness Epidemic
How Singles Can Beat Loneliness
Accept Loneliness
The first step with anything is to accept it. Accept that loneliness is real. It is also important to know that loneliness and social isolation increases your risk of an early death according to studies by 50%.
Recognize Loneliness
Learn to recognize the different characteristics which are associated with loneliness. You are able to feel loneliness. Loneliness will ruin your sleep and sleep cycle. Loneliness can also lead you down a path of bad and self-destructive habits. It can also affect your mental health.
Nurture Relationships
Relationships can be difficult since your friends work and may have a different schedule, but work to schedule a time to meet with a friend. You can do this by reaching out to your friends to schedule a time to meet for coffee, lunch, drinks, or to do something that you both enjoy doing together. You can also start conversations with and connect with your neighbors where you live. You can also find like-minded people who share the same interests as you by looking for community by joining a group or club.
Practice Positive Self-Talk and Self-Love
Talking and thinking negatively about yourself will only increase loneliness and not help you feel better as a person. Learn to love yourself and to accept who you are as a person.
Find a Hobby
Find something that you enjoy doing and focus on doing that when you are feeling lonely. There are a number of different things that you can do as a hobby. If you don’t have one and don’t know where to start, begin here.
Focus On Others
Focus outwardly on the needs of others rather than on yourself. This will help to refocus you towards other people and to be better tuned to what people are saying through their body language, conversation, and their aspirations.
Find A Community
If you do not have a community, then you should find one because it is an important way to beat loneliness.
Be Persistent
Be persistent in working to get together with friends, community, volunteering, and getting outside to interact with other people. Make this a goal to work towards to help to defeat the feelings of loneliness.
Always Show Up
Always show up to events that you plan to attend that are of interest to you. Do not miss an event because you do not feel well because that feeling is what you are working to get past. Show up to meet new people and to interact with others.
Volunteer
A great way to work to get over loneliness is to give time back to your community by volunteering. Find an organization that you support and volunteer to help the organization to achieve its goals while helping your community.
Kindness
Practice kindness to others. This will take the inward focus on yourself and direct it outwards towards other people. This will help to make you feel less lonely because you are not solely focused on yourself but on others.
Seek Professional Help
If your loneliness is especially bad and you suffer from other mental heal issues such as depression, then seek professional help. A professional counselor or therapist can better help you to work towards overcoming isolation, loneliness, and depression. It will take work but it will help you in the long run.
Summary
The Loneliness Epidemic is a problem despite being an age of constant connection with social media. If you are suffering from loneliness, whether you are single or in a relationship, practice these twelve tips and consider a counselor or therapist if it is bad enough that it affects your daily life. Loneliness is, unfortunately, common today so do not be ashamed if you suffer from loneliness because you are not the only one today.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The search for community is essential for singles to combat the loneliness epidemic.
It has been documented that there is a Loneliness Epidemic happening in the United States and around the world. There have been theories associated with why this is the case from the rise of single people to social media. While there is an important difference between being alone and lonely, singles can search for a community to beat the Loneliness Epidemic.
Search For Community During The Loneliness Epidemic
Loss of Community
It has become more difficult to find community as people as people have begun to work more, not talk to their neighbors, and traditional institutions have lost people’s trust in the twenty-first century. The combination of the loss of community today is a why singles, and others, need to search for community.
Search for Community
The search for community is vital to thriving fully as a person. Community is….. Your community will become the people who you see, interact with, and talk to most often. There are many places where singles can search for community. Singles can search for community-based around interests, beliefs, political views, worldview, and so much more. However, sometimes a scary part in the search for community is you have to take a risk to go to a place where like-minded people congregate and talk to new people. If that is stopping you in your search for community, it is better to take risks in order to grow as a person rather than to remain comfortable where you are at. That is also true of personal development and to move ahead in your career. Take risks. Get uncomfortable. Search for a community if you are lonely.
Community and Health
The community has been linked to providing many health benefits. The health benefits of the community include less stress, motivation, and compassion and empathy towards others. Those are some of the health reason singles should search for community as well to prevent loneliness.
Summary
Humans are by nature social animals to paraphrase Aristotle. Community and social interaction are included in the hierarchy of needs. Singles should strive to search for a community to fully thrive as a single person.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
A recent study by Cigna found that half of Americans are lonely. Cigna used the UCLA Loneliness Scale to measure loneliness of 20,000 people in its survey. The problem of loneliness rose with each younger generation with the Greatest Generation having the lowest number while Generation Z had the highest number from the study. Loneliness contributes to mental and health issues. The loneliness epidemic affects those who are single, unmarried, and married. Singles can combat the loneliness epidemic by finding a balance with sleep, work, socializing with friends and family, exercise, and personal time.
5 Ways Singles Can Overcome The Loneliness Epidemic
Loneliness is linked to causing health issues. Research on social isolation and loneliness affects health by increasing stress hormones and inflammation, which increases the risk of heart disease, arthritis, Type 2 diabetes, dementia, and suicide. It has also been found that people who are lonely drink to excess, smoke, overeat, speed, and engage in promiscuous sex. Loneliness has been connected to mental health issues such as depression, social anxiety, addiction, and hoarding. Loneliness is a health issue, but there are ways to beat loneliness. There are ways to combat loneliness and the five ways are below.
Be Social
Aristotle in the Politics said that “Man is by nature a social animal.” People need to be social to be healthy. One way singles can beat loneliness to hang out with friends and family. Singles can make a point to get together with friends or family members during the week for social interaction.
Stay Busy
Along with social interaction, singles should focus on work to stay busy. Work can take many different forms such as a job, a business, cleaning up the apartment or house, yard work, or working on a personal project.
Exercise
Exercise is beneficial as well to combat loneliness and depression because it releases endorphins into the body. It is recommended to do thirty minutes or more of exercise three to five times a week by doctors. Depending on where you exercise, you may also get social interaction while you are at the gym or running in the park.
Sleep
Quality sleep is useful to when it comes to loneliness because being able to regularly fall into a deep sleep is a sign of good health. Sleep will help you to have a better day by feeling revitalized and ready for the day. It is vital that singles have personal time because it lets you focus on what makes you happy and by spending time in solitude.
Personal Time
Personal time rests your brain, improves your concentration and creativity, encourages self-discovery, deep thinking, problem solving, and helps to improve your relationships with others. Singles can improve their mental and physical health by implementing these five steps into their daily routine to overcome loneliness.
Summary
These five practices can help singles to prevent loneliness that is now being called an epidemic. Singles can focus on improving their social lives with friends and family, sleep habits, exercise, work, and personal time to defeat loneliness. The loneliness epidemic affects all generations and all people, regardless of their relationship status. Loneliness is a health issue that does not get much attention and everyone should work to mitigate loneliness in life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
In order to live a complete and fulfilled life, it is essential to have strong and deep meaningful relationships with the people who bring us up and bring out the best in us. Millennials are in the constant grind of completing college and getting established in the workforce. It can be a rat race, and our lives can be stressful and lonely. To combat those low-level feelings, we need a team of people we can count on emotionally. Good relationships bounce us backup after we have fallen. It is up to us to nurture and foster a loving environment for our relationships to become deep and meaningful. Here are three ways you can improve your relationships today!
Spend Time With Loved Ones
Time flies by, so spend time with your friends. Make time to be with your friends and plan activities around relaxation, being in nature, and working out. Drinking is nice to do if it’s a special holiday or birthday, but alcohol tends to make things worse if you are working to improve relationships. Be present, be attentive, and stay focused. These are important relationships you need to work, to try your best to be completely present for each person who is special in your life. It’s important, and you need to be emotionally available to help your friends when they need you!
Be Honest About Your Life Experience
Too often, we keep secrets from others because we are afraid of what they will think. Take a moment to meditate on why you do this. Is it because you are afraid others will not like the real you? If so, why are you pretending to be someone else? Come as you are and welcome your authentic, non-ego self into the present. You will feel more comfortable in your skin. By being open and honest about your life experiences, you are being your authentic self. You are being, you! In truth, you will attract the right people if you are yourself, and if you are not being yourself then you will attract people who are not like you and may not ultimately approve of yourself. Be you, do your best, and know that you are a diamond!
Trust Your Friends
Until proven differently, work hard to trust people you care about. It can be hard to trust if you grew up in a household where you weren’t loved, or even had a lover or friend you trusted deeply break that trust. To live complete, begin to trust again. Being hurt is temporary, so learn to let go and focus on what is happening now. Do not worry if you are uncertain of the future, you have absolutely no control over the future, you only have control over the current moment. Holding on to the past or worrying about the future will only keep you from loving and enjoying the present moment. Learn to let go, learn to trust, and learn to love life and enjoy it to the fullest. You are worthy of love and trust, so start today to show your friends you love them by trusting them completely.
Start today by intentionally making an active effort to do your best to improve relationships by being attentive and being your true self. When you open up and trust life, life tends to be there for us. Make sure you do your best every day, show up on time, make things work, and be happy. Every day is a new day for a fresh start. If is your life, so take back control today!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
3 Pros and Cons for Single to Consider Before Buying Sex Tech
With the rise of technology and ease of use to attain resources online, the interaction between people is becoming less and less. People are more connected, but also more alone. The need to go to the store can be replaced by a simple order online, and the need for socializing can be filled by social media and chat rooms.
Technology does make our lives easier in the 21st Century, and that is why sex is becoming more technological – especially for the single men and women. There are more sex toys on the market today than there were previously, as new sex technology is on the rise for men and women have sex with artificially intelligent robots. As odd as it may seem, an antisocial person who works from home, orders food and supplies online, and has no wife or husband will find their sexual needs met by the upcoming artificially intelligent robots.
Sex robots are still in early development but RealDoll and Android Love Dolls are leading this new industry. These different sex robots are fully customizable according to the preferences of the customer. The ability to customize a sex robot offers convenience for people who may not want a relationship, but want to have sex. Technology makes everything more convenient, so why not also tap into sexual convenience?
Here are the benefits you need to consider:
- Sex robots omit the risk of any sexually transmitted diseases. According to the New York State Department of Health, every 1 in 4 Americans have an STD of an estimated 110 million people. Though, use of protection with latex condoms works to prevent HIV and other STDs (like chlamydia and gonorrhea), there is not a one hundred percent guaranteed of safe sex.
- Sex robots fill the sexual needs of a person, which is one of the basic human needs. According to Psychology Today, isolation and insecurity are increasingly common.Depression affects 1 in 10 adults in the USA, and being lonely can cause significant health and psychological problems for many of us. Having sex releases happy hormones and relieves stress, which can lead to a happier person overall. Sex is good, and when you are isolated, having a sex robot can make things a lot easier.
- Sex robots are good for socially awkward people. If you haven’t got ‘game,’ getting sex can be difficult. When you have a sex robot on call in your home, you don’t have to worry about hunting for a partner or dealing with relationship issues. Sex technology makes for great convenience anytime in your home. For more information on socially awkward people looking for intimacy, check out this feed on Reddit.
Here are the cons:
- With technology making sex easy and convenient, people are losing more social skills that are essential to human connection. There is a huge need for human intimacy, and when we don’t have a strong connection with someone who can meet our needs, we feel distressed, and almost inhuman. People need intimacy and deep meaningful relationships, it is one of the most essential needs along with food, water, and shelter.
- Sex always sells, and when you have technology that makes it easy to attain, the available supply will encourage solo sex with technology.
- When you aren’t out there looking for a partner, you may miss out on a great relationship.
There is no doubt that sex technology is disrupting the market. According to an article in Forbes, How The ‘Niche’ Sex Toy Market Grew Into An Unstoppable $15B Industry, the sex toy market proves to be profitable. The best way to solve your sexual needs and intimacy needs would likely involve sharing your sex technology with another person whom you trust. One thing is for certain as Sir Richard Mottram once famously said,
“We’re all fucked.”
Sex tech still is a new industry that offers great potential for singles and others to meet a basic human need. There are positives and negatives to sex tech, just like with everything in life. Will these sex robots prove useful and beneficial to the human race or will they turn into mankind’s worst science fiction nightmare made real?
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Men are not receiving enough physical touch in their lives. This has left men unsure of when physical touch is appropriate in a platonic friendship environment. For single men, physical touch is especially important because it has been found to include health benefits. There are many reasons why men are afraid to touch each other, especially in public. Single men should not be afraid to touch their friends or to bring it up as an appropriate way for men to show affection to one another when they are together.
The main reason is that society has sexualized physical to a touch to where it is now weird for two people –especially two men—to touch each other as friends. If it is not the problem of the sexualization of touch by popular culture, then it is that men are believed to be untrustworthy and only want sex. This is further perpetuated by the belief that men only want sex and have low animalistic desires. These three thoughts when combined make it nearly impossible for men to display physical signs of friendship in public or in private places among friends. However, this lack of physical touch for men leads to some widely unrecognized problems.
It has been found that a lack of touch creates insecurities in men, whether single or not, when someone touches them. This leads to emotional and physical isolation. It does not matter if the person is a man or a woman. Additionally, it makes men distrust themselves when they try to touch someone as an act of platonic love, called philia. It is not acceptable for men to touch each other in a philia sense. If men do it, society will automatically label it as an act of a suppressed sexual desire that needs to come out to the world. In contrast, it is culturally permissible for women to touch each other by holding hands and hugging each other without immediately labeling their sexual orientation. Why this societal disconnect and contradiction when it comes to men and physical touch? Why should it only be socially acceptable for women to receive the health benefits of being touched in a platonic manner?
It has been found that there are many health benefits that human touch provides and men should participate in physical touch without being judged. Research has found that platonic touch has a correlation to less violence, increased trust, compassion and sympathy, stronger immune system, better team dynamics, increased learning ability, and improves the well-being of an individual. It has also been found that touch increases oxytocin, drops cortisol, and triggers dopamine. The finding of this research is not surprising because people are by nature social animals and touch is a form of non-verbal communication. Touch can signify love. Touch can signify approval and confirmation. There are many health and cognitive reasons why touch is a healthy and more men should use friendship forms of touch.
There is no reason why men cannot touch each other as friends. Touch is important for single men to use to form bonds because it has health benefits and the social act can help to decrease loneliness, which has been found to cause death. All the single men, do not fear giving your male friends a hug or a pat on the back as a sign of affection.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Loneliness is often confused with being alone; however, the former has been found to be a cause of death among higher isolated individuals. In the 21st Century with the advent of social media there is a misconception that the more “Friends” we have the better and healthier we are. The opposite is true. It is important to have up to five best friends who you can talk to about problems that you are having and you should see them regularly face to face. In light that people are becoming more isolated and experiencing loneliness, here are a few things you should know about loneliness so that you can fight it.
Loneliness Is Contagious
If you know someone who is lonely or if you are lonely, it has been found that people spread it to others who they are directly connected to according to a study that was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2009. This also works in reverse. If a person who is not lonely hangs around people who are lonely that same study found that the non-lonely person will become lonely. Loneliness is a prevalent social disease that is contagious.
Social Withdrawal
Individuals who begin to socially isolate them first start by withdrawing socially from interacting with people. These individuals often are unable to pick up on nonverbal social signals, which makes them socially incompetent that results in them not being able to activate positive social stimuli. After not being able to turn on positive social stimuli, miss nonverbal social cues, and slowly begin to withdraw from interacting from others is when social isolation begins. Individuals who withdraw from social interactions will be less trustful and display hostility towards others. Social withdrawal leads to social isolation.
Causes Hunger
Breakups are not the only life event that cause an individual to eat a lot of ice cream or insert your favorite food when you’re lonely and possibly depressed. Loneliness can last longer than getting over an ex and it is a common experience that individuals share in modern society. Interestingly though, women are more likely to become hungry and eat more when they are lonely. Loneliness activates a hormone that women have called Postprandial Ghrelin, which is also known as the hunger hormone. An individual can get over an ex and a breakup, but one can’t fight biology and the hunger hormone when one is lonely.
Probability of Death Rises By 26%
Loneliness can kill! A study that researchers at Brigham Young University conducted on loneliness found being lonely increases the risk of death by 26% to 32%. There was no difference between loneliness and social isolation according to the study. In short, if you subject yourself to loneliness or forced into social isolation by society you are have an increased mortality rate.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single and Lonely? How To Deal
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone...” Maxwell Maltz
You’re single and proud of it. While all your friends are out there getting married, starting families, and pairing up, you’re left standing there alone as the free bird. It should feel great, but for some reason, you may feel very feel more alone than ever. One thing you need to know is that you’re not alone.Companionship is great, but only if you’ve taken the time to truly love and accept yourself first and foremost can you then fully share yourself with another person. Too often, people rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. If you’re a free bird and feeling lonely, the best thing you can do is to find the root cause. Take your time in building the relationship you have with yourself. When you become solid with how you feel about yourself, in a positive manner, then you will watch as outside relationships with other people start to grow and become deep and meaningful – with family, friends, and coworkers.
Love will come when you are ready, and if you are out there looking for love, you will only attract the wrong people. When you feel most lonely, follow these steps to lead a more fulfilling life as a single person. Just as you start loving and enjoying your life to the fullest, you may stumble upon the next love of your life.
Here are 4 things to do when you feel lonely:
Attend Meetups
If you live in a city, you will most likely have Meetup groups in the area. Meetups are a great way to break out of your isolation and loneliness. Find at one or two meetups you can attend in a week. Search for groups that are relative to your likes and interests. Being a part of a group with similar interests makes it easy to find a connection with at least two or three people. With common interests, you’re bound to make friends. This is a great cure for loneliness. Go out with a positive attitude that you will make friends wherever you go!
Volunteer
It may be the last thing on your mind when you feel lonely and are comfy at home in your pj’s, however, a recent study noted in the Harvard Women’s Health revealed that volunteering helps people who donate their time feel more socially connected, ultimately warding off depression and loneliness. Giving back to the community is a great way to boost your happiness levels, and can help you make great connections with other people. Working with others builds rapport, and strengthens relationships. You might make a handful of friends at your next volunteering event! Simply Google volunteer opportunities in your area, or ask a friend who volunteers to let them join you. You always have options.
Adopt A Pet
Having a pet at home can be a great source of companionship. Dogs and cats are among the most popular domesticated pets to own. Not only are they great company, but most pets will love you unconditionally. After a long day, coming home to a pet can help reduce stress levels, and lend a loving and non-judgmental ear to listen – even though they may not understand what you are saying. Getting your words out to a pet can reduce your stress levels, simply because you are letting everything out that you have kept bottled up. Pets also take a lot of dedication and are a huge responsibility. Having to take care of a pet will keep you busy at home, which means your mind will have a moment to rest from the daily activities, and sit back to make some food for your pet. Your mind will have a moment to relax and switch hears while you are taking your pet out for a walk.
Realize That Not Everyone Is In A Relationship
After scrolling through the 5th Facebook post in a row about another wedding engagement, know that not everyone is getting married. According to Huffington Post, the average age of people getting married is from 27 – 29 years old, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/married-young_n_4227924.html). If you’re in your 20-somethings, don’t feel pressured. You definitely have the rest of your life ahead of you, and if you’re not ready to commit to something, that’s completely okay. You should always go forward in relationships at a pace you are comfortable with.
There are many remedies to help yourself from feeling lonely. If you don’t have a special relationship with someone yet, then continue to love your life – though, make sure you love and enjoy your life. Read the above statements, and apply some into your life. Positive people are attractive, needy people are not. Take this time while you are single to become the most interesting person you can be! You are not alone, to take your friends with you. The only remedy to change a current situation is to take action. Live your life to the fullest as a Secure Single, and feel good about who you are. While you are living your life, you may just meet the person of your dreams.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Society equates being alone with being lonely, although these two states are very different. There is an important difference between being alone and being lonely. There is nothing wrong with being alone and there are easy solutions to be social, if one begins to feel lonely. Society tells singles that because they are single that they are lonely.
Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines alone as being “without anyone or anything else” and being “without people that you know or that usually are with you.” It is appropriate to be alone in some circumstances to focus on work or to have solitude. Singles should be confident going out to places and going to events alone. This may be for drinks or going out for dinner alone. In fact, individuals are making reservations for restaurants on OpenTable to go out and dine alone which has been found to healthy for one’s mind. Consider spending more time in solitude and time being alone. There is an important difference between being alone and being lonely that the West has forgotten.
Loneliness is an emotional state. Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines lonely as being “sad from being apart from other people” and “causing sad feelings that come from being apart from other people.” Loneliness is unhealthy because humans are social animals. Some of the health consequences of loneliness and social isolation are increased risk of coronary complications and of having a stroke. If you are feeling lonely or have isolated yourself from others, it may be wise to see a doctor to check for depression. Loneliness and depression often come as a bad couple. However, about seven and eleven percent of individuals suffer from depression and the heavy feeling of self-isolation that depression places on people. Being social is critical to the being human, but loneliness and depression fight against the social reality of human existence.
Single people should never feel ashamed of spending time alone. It is important to make time for oneself. Be confident when you are alone and enjoy the time to yourself. In contrast, loneliness and social isolation are unhealthy and may lead to depression. Loneliness, social isolation, and depression are varying degrees of emotional and psychological symptoms that can ultimately affect your long-term health. The next time that someone comments to you about you being single and alone tell them that being alone is healthy while loneliness is unhealthy.
There is an important difference between loneliness and being alone that society neglects. It is important to spend time alone, but being lonely can be problematic. If you are alone, do not listen society’s message that you need to be in a romantic relationship to be normal. Spend time alone is a way to clear your mind and to rejuvenate yourself. Embrace being alone and the health benefits that have been found with solitude.