Ann Coulter sent out a Tweet the other day that succumbed to society’s stereotypes of singles being sad and lonely and couples being happy. Being single does not mean that you are unhappy and lonely. That is a myth created by society. The single shaming done by society, the media, and politics needs to stop since singles are now the majority of the American population.
Ann Coulter And The Culture Of Single Shaming
As someone with influence in society, especially in certain political circles, Ann Coulter is hurting singles. She should be helping them instead of saying that singles live “lives of quiet desperation and will die alone”. Further, as a professional single woman, Ann Coulter fails to realize the values of the single life and that singles are healthier than couples. Women are more independent than ever today. Women do not need a man to be happy. It is disheartening to see a single political celebrity take part in single shaming because Ann Coulter is not only shaming singles, but is also shaming herself.
Politics Of Being Anti-Single
The politics of both American political parties have always favored those who are married and have a family. This is because because they are an essential political base. Both the Democrat and Republican Parties have historically been anti-single. Politicians need to attract this base to to win an election. Politics has used taxes to assist those who are married and who have families since it is thought that families are a requirement for a healthy society. This belief has resulted in couples with children receiving tax deductions for children. Children become a tax write off for couples while singles pay a tax penalty.
These can include tax cuts and deductions for being married and having children. There are already more than 1,000 laws, just on the federal level, that help provide benefits to those who are married. Those laws were written and enacted by both American political parties. Washington and Politicians like to ignore singles because it is good for them to be seen as pro-marriage and pro-family. Why do you think politicians are always kissing babies on the campaign trail? To win votes and to look relatable to their voters. This has to change.
Direction Politics Should Take Towards Singles
Political institutions from the local level to the federal level in Washington need to realize that singles are now the majority of the American population. Those who are married are becoming a smaller number of the American population. Future policies that should work to dismantle tax deductions that those who are married receive for having children. Singles should not be taxed more people who are married. The more than 1,000 laws that favor those who are married should be rewritten or amended to make a truly equal playing field for everyone when it comes to taxes. It will not matter if they are single, cohabiting, or married. Everyone will be taxed the same instead of some receiving tax benefits from the government for having children.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There is a new movement that is in its infancy. It is the Childless Movement. There are many different types of people that could fit within this movement, but its focus is on the involuntarily childless. Those who are single and childless by choice should look into this movement and help it to gain momentum. Here is a look at the rise of the childless movement.
The Rise Of The Childless Movement
There are people who have chosen that they do not want to have children by sexual relations, adoption, or in vitro fertilization. They are single by choice. They are childless by choice. This childless movement can join those who are single by choice and childless by choice. In industrialized countries, where singles are a rising demographic, singles can join the movement by speaking out against society and popular culture’s pressure for singles to get married and have children. After all, there is nothing wrong with being single or childless.
Women who want to work to progress the fourth-wave of feminism to incorporate childlessness should act to ally these two movements. Feminism and the childless movement can work together to achieve shared goals. The childless movement is a perfect opportunity for women to express themselves and let their voices be heard. Women, especially single women, can give themselves a voice that it should not be a social obligation to marry and have children. Women do not need a husband. Women are fine single. Women can pursue a career and enjoy life child free. Those are main components of the childless movement that women should choose to embrace. It gives them independence to live their life how they wish without being restrained by the goal finding and having a husband, two-and-a-half kids, and a white picket fence. Being single and childless gives women freedom.
Freedom is the foundation of the single life. Singles are able to choose how to live life according to their own terms. Being childless gives independence since children are expensive, require time, and to be with them as they grow up. Singles can embrace permanent self-governance by making the decision to be single by choice. For singles who are single by choice, the childless movement aligns with the values of the single life. Singles and the childless can join together to propel what being single truly means in a society that worships the white picket fence. The white picket fence can be changed making it acceptable to being childless and single.
Summary
The childless movement should work to unite the power of the growing number of singles in countries. Singles who are single by choice can join to give more strength to the movement. It is time that singles and childless are respected by society. The childless movement is a necessary first step along with singles studies to change the perception of being single by society.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you haven’t already heard about the trend of singles dominating the relationship status queue, then you probably don’t know about Sologamy. This new trend is possibly the next glorified step of officially labeling yourself as a very securely single person. Not only are sologamists married to themselves, but they have an official commitment to fulfill their needs from the very basic levels of being a provider and up through to the more levels of the complex inner self.
We can define sologamy as one who marries themselves. This might seem like a strange concept at first, but in fact, many people are participating in this self-matrimony possibly to put a theoretical middle finger up to traditional marriage, or to find a deeper love and meaning for oneself. Those who marry themselves make a commitment to the long journey of love, understanding, and compassion for the self.
This may be a glorified ‘single status,’ but there is more to it. Marrying yourself and forgoing choosing a partner is a bold move.
Who Is Marrying Themselves
The demographics can be zeroed into a small niche group of people, though this may not be the ‘one size fits all’ label, our definition comes pretty close. The demographics range from feminists activists to millennials with student loan debt, and even middle aged 40-somethings who are set in their ways. Though this trend isn’t for everyone, there are some reasons why people marry themselves.
Why Would You Marry Yourself
There are many reasons why people marry themselves, but first, we may want to point out that as humans we are psychologically wired to need love. Love is one of the fundamental needs in order to live, and today we seem to be in short supply of love. Online internet dating sites make millions of dollars because if this need. By practicing self-love, we can fill our needs and become a very loving person. It can be difficult to find love when you are dating for marriage, you may be called out on ‘looking for love in all the wrong places.’ You don’t have to be a sologamist to love yourself, but self-love is practiced daily in sologamy.
You might also want to look at the student loan statistics for millennials. A person who graduates with a lot of student loan debt is more likely to be focused on developing their career and paying their debt off, rather than chasing family aspirations. Paying off your student loans would free a person in so many ways, financially, mentally, and emotionally. Debt is a terrible thing in itself. Millennials are psychologically putting off marriage to get a handle on their debt.
Sologamy can be fitting for entrepreneurs, workaholics, self-righteous feminists, and people with mental disorders. There are many reasons why sologamy seems to be the solution. You commit to yourself to love and care for yourself.
Arguments Against Sologamy
For those in favor of marriage, want kids and want to build a family, sologamy is not for them. Even in the worst cases of domestic violence, marrying for the wrong reasons, and putting off your life to care for a family, sologamy isn’t something that everyone chooses. Though if you are in a situation with a partner where you are in danger, you will need to call for help to get into a better situation.
Families can be a great source of love, and that is why when people get older they want to have families of their own as well. For people who have had a terrible upbringing, having a family of their own can seem like a disastrous idea.
How You Marry Yourself
Companies like iMarriedMe.com and Cera Travel of Kyoto, Japan are fully operating businesses that encourage people to marry themselves. If you live in Europe or the United States, you may want to note that sologamy is not recognized in Europe or the US as a legally binding union.
Benefits of Sologamy
One woman married herself at the age of 37 in a quiet ceremony of one near a waterfall in Big Sur, California. Here are some of the vows from her wedding ceremony, in case you may need the inspiration:
“I had prepared my “soul vows.” These vows were my deepest commitment to love, cherish, and deeply care for all parts of myself in sickness and in health, until my time on the planet comes to an end.
I vow to comfort myself during times of hopelessness, despair, depression, disillusionment, or any difficulty that arises.
I vow to be my Beloved always and in all ways.
I vow to never settle or abandon myself in romantic partnerships again.
I vow to live in the faith my life unfolds in mysterious divine perfection.
I vow to honor my spiritual path and create an amazing life whether I am ever legally married or not.
I vow to honor my calling and live my life as a work of art.
Some vows were tender and some fierce—some private, and some to be shared with the world.
Don’t bother with what others say, you do what you need to!
Sologamy
The marriage to oneself may not be for everyone, but you should keep in mind the reasons why people do commit to sologamy. Here’s a success story of one very happy woman. Stay secure my single friends.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single Woman Takes Pride in Career-Driven Life
A lot of women get slammed for choosing their careers and being assertive. Those traditional values, no matter how old they are, seem to still be sticky with our current time. Sarah Silverman, 46, is a career-focused woman and a symbol for modern day Feminism.
In a recent Twitter statement, Sarah stated that she decided to live her life to the fullest over becoming a mother. Simply noting that men do not have the same responsibilities as the woman does when it comes to raising a family. Women who work and bring home big paychecks are frowned upon because they aren’t tending to the children or pleasing their husband, though, on the contrary men are praised for it. Times are changing, and they are changing fast.
Trending since the big Feminist movement in the 1960’s, women are now more independent that ever: taking on bigger challenges at work, leading companies as CEO’s, and starting their own companies.
Why on earth would any woman today not take advantage of all the resources available to become the most independent, financially secure, and influential woman that she can be?
Raising a family should not be the only thing a woman hopes for. There are so many bigger things out there to do: see the world, live freely, do as you please, travel where you want. Women have so much freedom available at their fingertips.
Should a woman who chooses her career over being a mother be ridiculed? No, there should be nothing but praise – go get ‘em, girl!
Women and men need to move past these traditional values and accept the fact that not all little girls aspire to be a mom, they aspire to be powerful and influential career women at the top of their game.
Women have the right to speak their minds. In one of her latest statements, @SarahKSilverman tweets: “As a comic always working & on the road I have had to decide between motherhood & living my fullest life & I chose the latter. Men don’t have to do that. I’d so love to be a fun dad, coming home from the road & being my best fun dad self. So this is just a lil fuck all y’all bc u can’t be a woman w/out sacrifice & that’s the fact jack.”
Her tweet received 242 Retweets and 2,972 likes.
Strong words are often met by strong oppression. In a recent article by Carly Hoilman, she states, “to imply that motherhood is a barrier to living a “full” life smacks of the sort of bitterness and condescension typical of the modern feminist movement.”
What Carly fails to understand is the economics behind the positives of focusing your responsibility on your career. Without the heavy responsibility of raising children and being a housewife (if there are any #divorcerate), a woman has more freedom to make important decisions in her life, and to lead a life much more exciting and rewarding through following your life’s purpose. To afford a nice house, travel the world, own your own company, and provide for yourself is much more exciting than leading a lesser economic position as a mere woman who never reached her full potential, only aspiring to be a mother.
Women need to be aware of the opportunities they have, and all of the potential there is. Either way, follow what you believe in. Go after it!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!