There are many reasons why millennial women marry later in life. It could be due to the fact that women now, more than ever, have more opportunity in the workforce to create their fortunes. It may also be true that alongside the ambitious women are those with student loan debt. It could be possible that one of the reasons that women work so hard is that they want to make something significant of themselves and they want to be financially free. These are some of the reasons that influence single women remaining single longer and delaying marriage, which is the new trend.
With opportunity knocking at the door and financial freedom around the corner, women have began to blaze down the career path with relentless passion. Student loan debt is on the rise, and so is the cost of living. Women’s rights are also more liberated than ever, thanks to progressive women in history. Women who now have the opportunity to work more in higher and more advanced positions, and make a really good amount of cash flow to lessen and eliminate the burden of student loans.
With our minds preoccupied, marriage and family are far from our minds. It is true that some women want a family and aspire to be good mothers, but it is also true that that is not the only option available for women. Go after what you want. Start that business, work three or more jobs to pay off your debt, learn new skills that make you marketable in the marketplace.
Marriage used to be a union of economic security for women in previous generations, but now that is not the case because Marriage Rates Are Plummeting:
“The median age at first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men — up from 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960… Today an unprecedented portion of millennials will remain unmarried through age 40, a recent Urban Institute report predicted. The marriage rate might drop to 70 percent — a figure well below rates for boomers (91 percent),”
What’s more is that having student loan debt does in fact delay marriage. Here are the stats about student loans:
General Student Loan Debt Statistics
- Total Amount of Student Loan Borrowers: 44 million +
- Total Outstanding Student Loan Debt: $1.41 trillion +
- Average Federal Student Loan Default Rate: 11.8%
- Average Number of College Grads with Student loan Debt: 60%
- Average Debt Per Borrower: $27,975
- Average Debt Per Graduate: $16,723
- Average Debt Per Graduate Student: $57,600
- Average Debt Per Borrower at a Public School: $26,828
- Average Debt Per Borrower at a Private School: $30,281
- Department of Education’s Estimated Profit Over Next 10 Years: $127 billion
With student loans as a burden, and an economic climate of opportunity, it’s no wonder that women are taking advantage of having a career oriented life. To pay off your student loan debt and have a career you once could have only dreamed of, you can literally life the life you desire. Career oriented women are smart because they choose to make the most of their time developing into the best version of themselves.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The topic of having children has been a long debated discussion for singles, and married couples. The people surveyed in most studies are people who have had children, are considering children, or do not have children at all are considered, even young people. People involved are single parents, unmarried singles, and married couples. Single adults who may be career oriented are also included in in the pool study.
Single, Childless, And Happy
The debate on having children, or not, can result in 1 of 4 outcomes:
- No Children and Happy
- No Children and Unhappy
- Children and Happy
- Children and Unhappy
There are many factors that can affect the experience each person has, which includes the financial situation of the parent, the general happiness level of the person excluding their parental status, and what type of cultural environment the person lives in. You could call it the good old, ‘nature vs. nurture’ comparison.
The two most common outcomes that we will focus on for today is people with or without children and their happiness levels.
The Pros
Some parents say that having children gives meaning to their lives, which is quite a fulfilling life goal for some. Some people are just wired differently, and are natural caregivers. This is not a bad characteristic. From a child’s perspective, having a parent who truly loves you and cares for your upbringing is a huge indicator of an emotionally stable and confident adult life.
You may call this perspective ‘Heart Work’. When money is not a factor, and neither is outside stress. This can be a good thing if you are prepared for it.
The Cons
It’s no secret that children are expensive. An article in the Washington Post reveals that families shell out an average of $13,000 a year, or appropriately $233,610 over the course of raising a child to age 17. Deciding not to have children can free up your finances, and can allow you more freedom to travel, invest, and get more educated.
Children are stressful, and cause parents a lot of anxiety during the initial child rearing stages. Not having children allows you the time and space to be more relaxed, and focus on having a better and higher quality life.
Another take is that people who are married experience a lot of change after a baby arrives. What is shocking is that parents are more likely to be depressed than their child-free counterparts, and that people without kids were happier than any other group, including empty nesters, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association.
Whether single or partnered up, your sex life also diminishes after having children. According to Psychology Today, parents don’t have enough energy for sex, they allow their children to sleep in the same bedroom, and planning for date night requires a lot of effort to schedule babysitters. In fact, having safe sex is really important for your overall health.
The overall quality of single life or married life declines as a result from time allocated into child rearing. This would be a definite indicator that having children decrease your happiness levels without a doubt.
Either way you look into it, people tend to do what makes them happy. Whether it may be a single adult who is rocking their career and loving it, or parents who feel more fulfilled after having children, one should look into what the pro’s and cons are for each side. Find out what makes you happy, and do more of it! As for now, rock what you’ve got, and have fun doing it.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Education is important. The school season is preparing to start up again. Students are buying their textbooks, computers, and new notebooks for their classes. School, from high school to graduate school, has different groups. There are different groups at school and there is a pressure to date in school instead of focusing on education. School should be the priority for students at all education levels and the best choice is to remain single while in school.
Junior high and high school are when hormones start and the pressure to date begins. While all the popular kids are doing it, that doesn’t mean you should. It could affect your high school education and where you ultimately get accepted to for college. Those hours spent with a significant other are better spent studying and reading your class books instead of dating like jocks and cheerleaders. There is also the problem that if you date and have sex with someone in high school that you may end up staying in your town or city by marrying them or having a kid because you hooked up with the person you had a crush on. This will damage your income mobility and the opportunities to move to another city for college or a job. The wisest decision you can make in high school is to stay single and not to date or hook up with your crush.
College, depending on the school you attend, is a more heavily academic version of high school. There are still the cool kids, the partiers, and the nerds. There is still the emphasis within the student body that you should date and get with whoever the hot person of your class may be. It is best to avoid the drama at college and focus on your education. Depending on what your graduating degree is from college, you can land a nice job and work your way up to a plush position. The cost of living is continuing to rise in major cities making it even more important that you finish college and get a job at a good company. Your friends and classmates will wonder why you are not dating anyone, but keep your eyes on the larger goal of starting to have a financially stable future after college instead of getting distracted by relationships. Being single in college is also a great way to learn more about yourself, grow as an individual, and enjoy the freedom to explore your college town after you finish your studies. College is an important stage of life and has become an important factor in your financial future today. Stay single, enjoy the freedom and autonomy of the single life, and do well at college instead of getting distracted by relationships.
If you attending graduate school; a small number of your classmates will probably be married, but singles will most likely be the majority. This is because while going to graduate school and getting an advanced degree will further assist in your financial future, students are still paying off student loans. Debt is a financial problem. It affects your financial mobility debts must be paid before money goes into savings and other investments. The advanced degree will help to set you apart in interviews and help to raise your starting pay for the field that you are going into as a professional. Graduate school is primarily focused on the academics and there is less of the drama and pressure to date, but there will be classmates who are married or dating who may indirectly put pressure on you to get into a relationship. Keep your eyes on the goal, which is finishing graduate school with the best GPA that you can and getting to know your professors in order to land the best job quickly after graduation. The single life is the best way to achieve your dreams and to become successful while in school and after school.
School is a time to learn more about who you are as a person, discover your passions are, and to prepare for the next stage of life after school. Staying single in school is the best decision. Stay focused on your studies, whether you are in high school or getting your postgraduate degree. Being single is about enjoying the independence that the single life offers and that freedom will grow after finishing school.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Many self-made billionaires, like Mark Cuban, started out in similar circumstances to your current walk of life, and in some cases, many of the self-made elites had worse off beginnings than you. The reason they are so successful is that they have developed an excellent work ethic. Mark Cuban shares his top tips for 20-somethings. It turns out that mastering these basic tips can pay dividends for your future self. You will be surprised at how simple these tips are — the top tips actually make a difference if you master the basics.
Never Underestimate the Power of Frugality
Sure you may have roommates in your 20-somethings, but take this time to pay off your student loan debt (if you have any), and save up as much cash as you can. If you have no family, dog, or car payments, take this time to work two jobs. Multiple sources of income are key. Where frugality comes into play is when you start to spend money defensively. Many millionaires and billionaires have amassed large fortunes due to their immaculate ability to watch where their money is going. Do not invest in anything that rots, depreciates, or rusts. Being frugal is one of the keys to building wealth. Don’t let the ‘keeping up with the Jones’s be an issue, having money in your pocket at the end of the day is king.
“It doesn’t matter where you live. It doesn’t matter how you live. It doesn’t matter what car you drive. It doesn’t matter what kind of clothes you wear, [and] the more you stress over bills, the more difficult it is to focus on your goals. The cheaper you can live, the greater your options.” — Mark Cuban
Take What You Can Get & Develop Your Side Hustle
In life you will have many opportunities to change your life. You have the responsibility to take the chances to make what you want to happen. You might not land your dream job right away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate providing value at a job you currently work at. If you work 40 hours a week, take some time do develop a side hustle which will improve your life in two ways: You will build essential business skills, and the work you do can become your passion that can turn you into a millionaire. Building your own company is a highly advised tool that can make you very wealthy – check into it.
When you find something you love, and the pay doesn’t matter, you’ve found the sweet spot to where your passion will pay dividends, and you will end up making a lot more money doing simply because your heart is in it. Business Insider blog contributor Richard Feloni notes that you need to prioritize your passion over your paycheck if you want to put yourself on a rewarding career path that allows you to thrive.
Be grateful for your current situation, and work like hell to make your dream come true. You will incur failure, but failure is only an indication of striving for the next big thing. Keep moving forward.
“If you love what you do so much that you are willing to continue to live like a student in order to be able to stay in the job, you have found your calling.”
— Mark Cuban
Be the Best You Can Be – In Any Situation
In your 20’s the majority of decisions you make will deeply impact your future, more so than the decisions you make in your 30’s and 40’s. Time is precious, and once you spend it, you can never get it back. Make a decision to be the best you can in any career, living situation, or relationship. When you put your best foot forward, there will be nothing to regret. Make the decision of excellence. When you do your best, you make it easier on the people around you to do what they need to.
If you’re working somewhere that is not your ideal career path, do your best anyway. When you’re outside of work hours, put in the time to develop your profession by doing your business development. Self-education will make you rich.
The above tips may be simple, but mastering the basics is key to your success. Starting in your 20-somethings with the right mindset and the initiation of developing your good habits will be the solid foundation for which you can succeed. Go forth and be amazing!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Our lives are composed of the choices we make, and the choices we intend to make. Each decision carefully crafts our futures in a way that could drastically impact how we interact with people, the careers we choose, the amount of income we take in, how healthy we are, and our levels of happiness. The quality of choices we make determines the quality of our lives. Some may call it the Butterfly Effect.
Two of the biggest choices people make are their choices in a career and their choices in a partner. Your career should always come first, as it is the way you provide for yourself, your family, and your country. To put food on the table, and to turn your lights on at home are critical. In fact, your sense of security is one of the most pressing needs you have to fulfill. After your needs are met to provide for yourself, then you have the option to choose a partner.
Many millennials are striving to find a sense of security through finding a meaningful career. The millennial generation is also attempting to pay off student loans. These two focuses are essential to lead a fulfilling life. We are all assured we will find just what we are looking for, but what do we do when it comes to love? Finding a meaningful relationship with someone who is compatible with us, and will help up become a better person is a huge need. To love, and give love in return is one of the greatest gifts in life. A soul mate, or our other half, is something many people are looking for even beyond their 20s and 30s.
Who you choose as a partner is critical. They can either make you or break you, as Napoleon Hill once noted in his book Think and Grow Rich.
From the logistical side, it would make sense to have your life together before you have a lifelong, loving partner in your life. You will need to pursue your passions first to feel a sense of profound accomplishment and self-fulfillment before you fall in love. But what happens if you meet someone along the way? Is it possible to balance both love and career? It depends on who you are as a person, and what your priorities are.
You should want to be as complete as you can before letting a partner join you along your journey. But if it happens to be that love happens, you should share a mutual understanding of support in each other’s career paths.
How you weather the storm will reveal to yourself just what you are made of. Some millennials can balance this, while others are either on one side or the other.
As a rule of thumb, you should have your education and career in forwarding progression first. The reason for having your life in order before you choose your partner will make for a smoother sail when you partner up. One thing is for certain, there is nothing wrong with being single and finding yourself. There is also nothing wrong with having a partner who loves and supports you in your journey.
I believe so many people are in search of love for the wrong reason, and we select what is fast, convenient, and in the end a genuinely bad match.
Take your time when choosing a partner, and keep focused on your goals no matter what. The right person will come along when you least expect. If your partner is a quality person, they will respect you for staying true to who you are and not compromising your dreams. They may have the same mindset as you. You want someone to complement you. When you have your career and goals aligned with yourself and can fully provide and support yourself, you will have someone to enjoy your time with.
Get your life in order first, choose your career. When you are independent, fulfilled, and happy, you will attract the right person. Good luck out there Secure Singles! Love is a battlefield!
Securely Single,
Danielle E. Brockman
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The news focuses on why women are single and then usually provides reasons to help women find a date. That is the story the media and popular culture sends to women, but society often sends a different message to single men. Single women have remained society’s focus until a recent Reddit user asked men why they are single. There are many reasons men are single or may choose to be single instead of seeking a relationship. Here are just a few reasons the single men said in response to that user’s question in the thread. Here are four reasons why men are single.
Four Reasons Why Men Are Single
Single, But Want to Date
For men that are single but would like to date, there are some common reasons why these men are still single. The first most discussed reason is often repeated on dating and relationship websites, single men don’t put themselves out there. But why don’t they do this? They may be too busy with work or life, they have difficulty reading body language (this is more common than you may think), have high standards, don’t go out enough, don’t go out enough to meet women, and single men may view themselves as not being financially viable to make a woman interested in them. Those are a few of the reasons why men who are single but want to date are still single.
Sick of Relationships And/Or Women
There are some other men out there who are single because they have had many terrible relationships with women or just plainly despise women. These single men may not be interested in a relationship because their parents were married and divorced multiple times. Their background and experience growing up and seeing their parents go through serial divorces does not make them interested in pursuing or finding someone to date.
There are other single men who just hate women. This could be because they do not get how women operate emotionally, think, communicate (verbally and nonverbally), or have given up on interacting with women altogether. This could be temporary or permanent for single men that have sworn off women. Some men may not enjoy talking to or hanging out with women, but they may still want to hook up with women when they are able since they still appreciate the physical beauty of women and sexual pleasure.
Career and Goal Oriented
Single men may also be career oriented and, for this reason, delay or put off getting married. The average age for single Millennial men to get married is 29. These men want to get a secure job, start their own business, or achieve financial independence and personal success before looking to date someone. However, some single people may have no interest in dating or getting married and may view working hard and being financially independent as a life goal instead of getting hitched. These single men may also have other personal goals, such as traveling, being involved in their community, supporting a cause they believe in, or wanting to live well in a certain area of the country, so they are willing to give up on being involved with a person for momentarily or for their entire life.
Single By Choice
There is another group of single men who have completely no interest in getting married. These single men enjoy what the single life offers them. Single men by choice, also do not view relationships as the end all and be all of life, which is contrary to what society tells singles. As singles by choice, these single men don’t mind being single and don’t feel they need to be in a relationship with another person. These single may be have decided to remain single by choice for personal, health, or religious, or they may identify as single. Ultimately, the cause of why single men choose to be single will be highly personal or may come down to identity.
Summary
There may be variations and particulars that go beyond the scope of this article for why men and women are single. Secure Single wants to explore those reasons more to help all single men and women. Are you a single man? We would enjoy hearing the range of reasons why men may choose to be single or want to be single for a time before wanting to date and get married.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
In the last 50 years, the number of women entering the workforce in the United States has significantly increased. Career focused women today are far more independent today than they have ever been. The number of women holding off on starting families and putting their college and career first is a remarkably positive trend. For women, growing financially secure and independent is proving more lucrative and more opportune for all single women.
Historical events in the US provided the perfect opportunities for women to join the workforce. The events leading up to the change can be known as the tipping point:
The Feminist Movement: the 1960’s push for equal rights and liberation for women.
Government Legislation Passed: The Equal Pay Act of 1963 and the Civil Rights Act of 1964 legally paved the way for equal pay in the workforce.
World War II: Men leaving the US left many jobs unfilled, leaving the country with labor shortages. As a marketing campaign to entice women to fill in the labor force, Rosie the Riveter was created and proved a success in getting women to join the workforce.
Women Accessing Higher Education: positive trend of women earning degrees has grown from 1250, 796 degrees in 1949, to over 1,849,200 degrees in 2008. Women now have more access to higher education than ever.
The traditional housewife role was not the only one available when the economy started to shift in the favor of women. Due to the changes occurring, women began to experience more economic freedom than ever. By entering the workforce, women can now support themselves. In the last 50 years, more women in the United States have the option to choose between starting a family or trailblazing down a hot career path. Recent studies find that more women are choosing career.
Know the Facts:
Nearly 47% of the current US workforce is comprised of women, according to a study by the Department of Labor.
The number of female owned businesses increased by 26.8% between 2007 and 2012.
30% of women owned US businesses attract just 5% of the nation’s equity capital.
4% of CEO Positions at S&P 500 companies are held by women.
Also, a recent report from the Institute of Women’s Policy Research (IWPR) found that 29%+ women own small businesses, a spike growth of 26% from 1997.
There is so much progress happening since the early 1900’s. Women in the current era have so much opportunity in the to make an impact in the workforce. Strangely enough, there is an inverse correlation between women in the workforce, and the percentage of people who are married in the US.
A study through summarized marriage data from 1960’s up through 2010. The study found a trending decline of people who get married across the board. The study found that in 1960, 72% of all adults ages 18 and older were married, and that today just 51% are married. The study projects adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years, that’s just roughly 25% of people being married. The study found that the more educated a person is, the more likely they are to get married later in life or not get married at all. People are waiting until later in life to get married, if at all.
Summary
For single women, take the opportunity to make the most of your education and career. It is, after all, part of the trend.