This holiday season we come together and realize just how fast the year has gone. Not only is it the end of the year, but this holiday season things are much more fast paced with meetings, family visits, vacations, trips, quarterly end reviews, and quotas. All tie into what is necessary and urgent. We can feel stressed and out of control. In order to get back control over our lives, we need to meditate. Meditation can calm a stressful mind and will help you center yourself before you go back out onto the battlefield of life. Here are the five benefits of meditation that you can integrate into your schedule that singles can implement today.
Meditation Helps You Get Organized
Ever heard the term scatterbrained? Too often we are so busy micromanaging things in our lives that we forget about rest and recovery. Life is simple, and far too simple for most people. To make things work better in your life, give meditation a try to organize your thoughts and get going on what is most important. An organized mind makes better decisions.
Meditation Reduces Stress
Our lives are far more fast-paced than our parents, and it is up to us to keep up with the current times or we will surely get swept under. To reduce stress in your life and be sharper and more effective in our super-sonic speed lives, meditate to reduce stress to be best prepared to handle all obstacles that arise in a calm and controlled mind. Reduce your stress today.
Meditation Improves Your Immune System
Counter-intuitive, but true. Meditating has multiple health benefits which includes improving your immune system. Tied into the stress factor, when we are stressed our immune system isn’t at it’s strongest, and times like these are when we can get an illness. To make matters better, meditating will improve your immune system by lowering rushing thoughts and pressures. You will feel more calm and collected, and healthier.
Meditation Improves Relationships
When you are more centered, you are able to be present for most, if not all, situations. Our minds constantly wander from past to future, but are rarely in the present. When we are with friends, family, and loved ones, we often are elsewhere in our minds thinking about rushing deadlines and things out of our control.
Meditation Improves Self-Knowledge
You can learn a lot about yourself when you sit with yourself and take the time to actually be with yourself. Meditation is a form of self-love, and can help you reach a better understanding of yourself as you listen to the flying thoughts in your mind. Take a pen and paper and write down everything that comes to you. There are no right or wrong answers, just pure consciousness. All the answers you need are within you, so if there is an issue in your life, meditate about it. You know what to do, so trust yourself and improve the relationship you have with yourself.
Summary
Now you’re aware of how you can calm down your mind and get organized. Meditation brings us to the present, and is a daily habit we need to embody, like showering, which improves our lives. Get better today, one step at a time. Practice meditation multiple times a day and keep a journal to note the benefits you get from your practice. It may be difficult at first, but keep going. Get better today, and become the best version of yourself that you can be. Get bigger, better, faster, and stronger!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Whether you’re an introvert or not, everyone at one point or another have experienced moments of solitude to themselves. Understanding that spending time with yourself in moderate amounts is a form of relaxation and not a form of isolation.
In fact, spending time alone allows you to unwind and recharge your mental and physical batteries. In an article written in the New York Post, society views people who are successful as those who are masters at multi-tasking. When we book our calendars full of meetings, there is no time to relax. The constant stress resulting from lack of downtime can be an addiction a downward spiral in one’s mental and physical health.
Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of psychological health benefits that result from spending time in solitude.
Surprising Benefits Of Spending Time Alone In Solitude
Slow Down And De-Stress
In a recent article on Oprah, Katrina Kenison states that solitude can cure what ails you. When we move in a fast paced world, all of the stress can build up and result in health impairments. Too much stress can harm our mental health, as well as our body’s well being. When we pause and turn off the noise, we can let ourselves relax. Relaxed people are generally at peace with themselves, and tend to be happier. In fact, studies find that happier people live longer. Life is too short anyhow, so why not lead a happier and less stressed life? Give it a go!
You Have Time Reflect and Redirect Your Life
This is all about reflecting on your life, your relationships, your career, and your health. Are you living the life you want to live? A great way to decompress is to write in a journal. The Huffington Post recently noted in an article that when you write you begin to feel mindfulness, while your stress and frustrations fade into the back. When you journal, you also have the opportunity to write down your goals, which significantly increases the likelihood of accomplishing your goals, in comparison with those who do not write down their goals.
Solitude Allows Time To Schedule and Builds Discipline
When you have to yourself, you can pull out your daily planner and coordinate time to work out, meet with friends, and also incorporate time to yourself. Perhaps you can plan a trip to the mall, schedule a massage, or even a visit to the hair salon for a new look.
Grooming is a great way to pamper yourself, and though you will be around people, you can still go solo. When you make the time each week to plan out your month ahead, you build self-discipline. According to Success Consciousness, self-discipline does not mean being harsh toward yourself or living a limited, restrictive lifestyle; it means that you have self-control, which is a sign of inner strength and control of yourself. Self-discipline gives you the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, without changing your mind, and is one of the most important requirements for achieving goals.
Good self-control means keeping promises to friends, maintaining a budget, actually saving money, and not eating those cookies after 10 pm at night.
Taking a moment or two to yourself every week will allow you the time to reflect upon your life, de-stress your body, renew and pamper yourself, and get organized on where you want to spend your time. Take back control of your life, and get focused on what really matters. If you’re single, then all the more time you have to dedicate to improving your time as a single person, no matter what length of time you stay single. It’s time to get organized. Let us know your favorite way to decompress in the comments below.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Other than being marginalized by society, singles have a lot going on. Singles tend to be more self-sufficient on multiple levels ranging from higher levels of happiness to fulfillment in health. One study in particular looks at how much time singles have when it comes to working out. With less obligation to household chores, children, and other responsibilities, singles have more time to improve their health. This includes heading to the gym to lift weights, go for a group run with friends, and work on meal prep centered around overall wellness.
What might be the cause?
When the civil rights movement began back in the 1960’s, more women entered the workforce thanks to the Affirmative Action Law. The percentage of women entering the workforce has continued to increase over time. With more independence today than ever before, women now have time to invest in themselves.
As a spin-off paired with the increasing percentage of single people in the United States, both men and women have fewer family obligations. With more ‘free time,’ singles are vamping up their health statuses.
Psychology Today reports that in 2000, an exercise survey was conducted from over 13,000 Americans that were between the ages 18 – 64. The study found that men work out more hours than women overall and that single people work out more than their married counterparts.
Time Spent Exercising
From the data above you can see that married people work out the least, while singles work out the most. The data set also includes divorced and separated singles, which also workout more than married couples.
So if you are single, don’t fret. Realize that you have more time on your hands to work out because you have fewer obligations than a married person does. You are also more self-sufficient in realizing your full potential and will tend to be happier than a married person. Being single isn’t a stigma. Being single is a great status.
With slightly more time on your hands, work on improving yourself and building your social life. You can work this around your health, which is a positive indicator that you take care of yourself.
What are the best types of workouts for singles?
In an article from Friendships.com, group sports are the best when it comes to building relationships. When you have ties to a group, you feel more integrated and are more likely to stay in a situation. When you are single, vamping up your social life though team sports may be an excellent way to log in those workout hours while building great relationships.
When you have more time to dedicate towards working out, you can begin to improve your health and your relationships through a team sport.
Being single is positive. Always look for the benefits of each situation. You can always find room for improvement. Taking care of your health is important. Take time to workout, and realize that if you are single, you have more time to workout. Take advantage of the good things in your life, and build up your friendships in the process. Life can be a lot more exciting when we take a step in a positive direction
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are some people who make the argument that the World Health Organization is doing good thing — actually a great thing– by allowing those who are single and who are unmarried to have access to IVF. They will go on to argue that since singles, and others, are able to get IVF that the single and the unmarried population should not complain about the WHO deciding to broaden its definition of “infertile” to include singles. Their line of reasoning is that the end (access to IVF) justifies the means (labeling single as a disability). An article by Elite Readers follows that exact line of argument by writing “So single folks out there will now be classified as “infertile” but I’s not arbitrary or insulting, as it is merely for purposes of priority for invitro fertilization.” In an earlier article, I presented five reasons how this is offensive and insulting to singles and to other communities. The purpose of this article is to respond that line of argument, find flaws in its reasoning, and then show how by adding being single into its new disability definition that classifying singles as “infertile” is in fact an insult.
This first line of argument is broken that everyone should have access to IVF. This is fine since IVF is a new medical procedure that allows for an embryo to be implanted into the womb of a woman to have children or to act as a surrogate for a couple or a single person who wants to have a child. This is reasonable since some people may prefer to use IVF to have children instead of choosing to adopt.
Next, supporters will argue that by including singles and the unmarried under the new World Health disability definition is not maligning singles since they are now able to receive a service. IVF is already on the rise as more men and women who want to be single parents and want to use the service, but it is only expected to “explode” more as people put off marriage for their careers. People already are able to get access to it in most cases. For this reason, there is no need for the WHO to change the definition of disability to allows singles to receive IVF because they do not have a sexual partner. Ironically, IVF does not require a sexual partner because it only requires someone to act as a surrogate to the parent(s). Why is not having a sexual partner a problem according to the WHO? This is a contradiction and inconsistency in the very argument by supporters. No partner needed for IVF. No sexual partner required for singles.
Third, by legally changing the definition of infertile to include those who are single and unmarried is arbitrary. It does not matter if supporters argue otherwise. Infertility is being unable to conceive, ovulate, and other reasons that vary between men and women. John Hopkins Fertility Center found the “cause of infertility are approximately 50 percent due to male causes and 50 percent according to female causes.” John Hopkins Fertility Center also found that 15 percent of the population is affected by infertility. By combining the part of the population that does not have any type of infertility issue in order to give them access to IVF does a disservice to the healthcare, medical, scientific community, and disgraces singles who are not infertile while also showing contempt to those who are really infertile.
For anyone who is single or who knows someone who is unmarried, please think twice before jumping on board the World Health Organization’s crazy definition wagons for disability and infertility merely because it’s an easy solution. It is impractical. It defies common sense. It discriminates against singles in favor of matrimania by using IVF treatment. It is time to stop insulting and continuing to attach stigmas to singles that are not true and to embrace the single and unmarried population.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Grocery shopping single can be difficult. Produce and packaged foods typically are sold in family sizes, although there more individual servings of rice and sides becoming available as food companies begin to recognize that Millennials are staying single longer. Food waste is a problem, not just for singles but for the average American, as the National Resources Defense Council found that the Americans throw out $28 to $43 worth of uneaten food each month. Singles should make sure to pick up what they need at the grocery store on their weekly or bi-weekly shopping trip. Be organized, shop smart, and use a shopping list app. Here’s a guide for grocery shopping as a single and how to shop for one the next time you go to the store.
Vegetables
Fresh vegetables can be used for snacking or for cooking. Baby carrots, Persian cucumbers, and bell peppers are a good choices as they are sold individually and easy to eat. Fresh vegetables that work for cooking include medium onions, garlic, fresh herbs, and avocados. Vegetables can be difficult to eat before they rot. For this reason, consider getting frozen vegetables. It has been found that frozen vegetables are actually more nutritious than fresh vegetables. You can buy mixed vegetables along with other popular vegetables in the frozen aisle. The portions are generally better for one person compared to buying fresh vegetables.
Fruit
For fruit, it is best to buy fruits that can be purchased according to the number that you will eat for that week. The most commonly available fruits will be apples, oranges, bananas, peaches, and other related fruits. These fruits are ready to eat. Just get the number that you think you will eat each week.
Meat
Meat can be tricky to estimate because it is purchased by pounds. Plan meals around six ounces increments now double that according to the number of meals that you plan to eat the meat that you buy. Two pounds, or 32 ounces, will be about six meals depending on how big of an eater you are. Stores will typically have some pre-cut fish, pork, or beef around the meat section.
This is just a quick guide to help singles to better buy food on their trips to the grocery store. Singles live in a grocery store world that focuses on giving families the best deals. Plan your trips. Be a smart shopper. And do your best to not waste food. Be a responsible shopper and buy only what you need for each week.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
While the World Health Organization’s redefinition of “infertile” to include singles and the unmarried who do not have a sexual partner to receive access to invitro fertilization may appear like a good idea on the surface to some, it only pushes stigmas that are already attached to singles. This new definition fails to recognize the psychological harm and emotional heartache that individuals who are infertile experience when they learn that they unable to have children. Further, it also does a disservice to the scientific and sexual health community by including singles as infertile when it comes to studying and researching infertility. There are five ways that the World Health Organization’s new definition of infertile hurts singles.
Definition of Single
The strictest definition of single by Merriam Webster is someone who is “not married.” A broader definition of single would be anyone who is is not dating or who does not have a sexual partner. However, it is important to point out that this does not mean that singles and unmarried cannot have sexual relationships with others that they meet over apps, at a bar, or with friends with benefits. In short, the WHO’s new definition of “infertile” includes a broad group of people, which is intentional, but by doing so only furthers the stigmas that society already attaches to those who are single.
It Makes Singles Think There is Something Wrong with Them
Singles are already told by society and popular culture that if they are not dating, living with someone, or married than there is something wrong with them. The standard belief perpetuated by society is that those who are unmarried are told that since they are not dating, then there is something wrong with them and they are not attractive enough or desirable enough for someone to want to pursue them. However, by being called “infertile,” it only adds to that stigma. It makes singles think there is something wrong with their current status and for those who are single by choice, when an organization that is responsible for directing international health within the United Nations classifies being as a disability and “infertile.” This is for the purpose to give more people access to a service to IVF. However, not all singles may not want to use IVF treatment or are interested in getting married or having children.
It Hurts Singles Who Are Infertile
This new definition of “infertile” that the WHO is considering will combine singles who are fertile with singles who are truly infertile. This is a problem on both a medical level and on a semantic definition level. People who struggle with infertility struggle with loneliness along with emotional and psychological pain. For those singles that have learned that they are infertile, according to the medical definition, this experience brings pains and struggles as they must now deal with the reality that they are unable to conceive or to bear children. This new definition of “infertility” by the WHO disrespects those who are single and unmarried with this medical condition. Most importantly, it disrespects those are infertile and who deeply want to have children.
It’s Offensive to Singles and Other Communities
The World Health Organization’s definition is not only offensive to singles, but also offensive to other communities such as the LGBTQ+. Adam D Blum, who is the Director and Founder of the Gay Therapy Center, said that the WHO’s new “infertility” definition could be offensive to same-sex couples and the LGBT+ community. Blum told USA Today, “That’s a medical term that is problem-focused. That’s not how we think of it as gay people. We aren’t having a medical problem. We don’t expect to have a child to our own bodies.” A similar response can be given about the single and unmarried community. Not every single plans, or wants, to have children and this definition implies that they eventually plan to have children naturally or by using IVF because it is now a disability to be single and not to have a sexual partner.
There are Better Ways to Give Singles Access to IVF
There are better solutions to give singles and other communities access to having children, whether through adoption or by utilizing IVF. But redefining a scientific and medical term to make it more inclusive is not the answer. A better way would be to make or change laws in states and countries to give different people the ability to have access to these services. There is currently no such laws regarding who can and cannot access IVF. Those singles, unmarried, and LGBTQ+ who want to have access to these services should contact their representatives and legislators to tell them that they are interested in being able to have access and to write new legislation that allows them to be treated equally under the law like other couples. The law still has to catch up as the definition of family has broadened and it has become more culturally acceptable for singles and the unmarried to have children through modern means.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
5 Reasons Why Sex Tech Is Convenient: Why You Should Partake
It is no surprise that technology advancement is exponential. It’s even taking a spike in the sex industry. From some of our previous blogs, you may have read about the stigma some people get who are technosexuals. In the second part of the series, software applications sex technology was discussed and included a list of popular apps. One thing is for certain, technology makes most processes easier, and simplifies our lives.
In our current era, people are busier than ever attending school, working to buy a home, or building a business. Pair that with the statistics of the divorced and the single by choice population, and you’ve got one extremely busy and sexually lonely society. Unless you’re having a lot of sex with other singles (: That can be inconsistent and sometimes unstable. You want to protect your sexual health and be good to your body. So where can you find consistent sex, safe sex, and convenient sex?
Sexual technology can ease the pain. The best part about technosexuality is that it’s your secret. You can be as private or public about it. Start a technosexual public movement, or have a nice night in with some popcorn and rechargeable batteries. Having sex technology at your home or in your back pocket makes sex convenient. Have sex when you want and where you want. You can definitely bring more meaning to ‘Love Making Machine’, simply because that is just what these machines are intended to do.
If you’re currently not having any sex at all, whether you don’t have a current partner or feel like masturbation is wrong, then you should check out these health benefits you could have while traveling with a vibrator or sleeve:
1. Sex Reduces Stress.
If you’re stressed out from overworking yourself and hitting the books hard in university, then you should take a moment to have sex – with yourself. If you’ve got no time for a partner, then you should invest in some technosexuality.
2. Your Immune System Gets A Boost From Sex.
A study conducted by researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that people who have sex at a minimum of two times a week had higher levels of antibodies in comparison to the control group who had sex at all. When you have sex, immune defense antibodies, like immunoglobulin A, are released.
3. Sex Lowers Blood Pressure & Is Good For Your Heart.
When you have a moment to run into the bathroom, take out your sex tech. The University of Paisley conducted a study that found sex to reduce the diastolic blood pressure. This can make your heart healthier if you generally have high blood pressure and your heart is overworked. Take the pressure off and turn on the buzz.
4. Sex Helps You Sleep Better.
The act of having sex increases your heart rate, it’s just like exercise, except more pleasurable. After ‘the act’, you feel relaxed. West Hollywood Psychiatrist Sheenie Ambardar, MD noted that after an orgasm, hormones called prolactin are released into your bloodstream, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness after sex.
5. Sex Makes You Look Younger.
Apparently, having sex multiple times a week can make you appear younger than you really are. David Weeks, a Scottish clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, wrote in his book Secrets of the Superyoung, that the “super young” people who, on average, appear ten or more years younger than their actual age look youthful because they share a host of similar characteristics, including keen minds, better sex lives, and more energy.
There you have it. It’s alright to have good clean fun. Just because you are really busy with school, work, social lives does not mean you have to skip out on sex. And just like traditional sex, technosexuality gets better with time because the advancements in technology are consistently increasing exponentially. You can get the next sex tech that is ‘Harder, Better Faster, and Stronger.’
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Men are not receiving enough physical touch in their lives. This has left men unsure of when physical touch is appropriate in a platonic friendship environment. For single men, physical touch is especially important because it has been found to include health benefits. There are many reasons why men are afraid to touch each other, especially in public. Single men should not be afraid to touch their friends or to bring it up as an appropriate way for men to show affection to one another when they are together.
The main reason is that society has sexualized physical to a touch to where it is now weird for two people –especially two men—to touch each other as friends. If it is not the problem of the sexualization of touch by popular culture, then it is that men are believed to be untrustworthy and only want sex. This is further perpetuated by the belief that men only want sex and have low animalistic desires. These three thoughts when combined make it nearly impossible for men to display physical signs of friendship in public or in private places among friends. However, this lack of physical touch for men leads to some widely unrecognized problems.
It has been found that a lack of touch creates insecurities in men, whether single or not, when someone touches them. This leads to emotional and physical isolation. It does not matter if the person is a man or a woman. Additionally, it makes men distrust themselves when they try to touch someone as an act of platonic love, called philia. It is not acceptable for men to touch each other in a philia sense. If men do it, society will automatically label it as an act of a suppressed sexual desire that needs to come out to the world. In contrast, it is culturally permissible for women to touch each other by holding hands and hugging each other without immediately labeling their sexual orientation. Why this societal disconnect and contradiction when it comes to men and physical touch? Why should it only be socially acceptable for women to receive the health benefits of being touched in a platonic manner?
It has been found that there are many health benefits that human touch provides and men should participate in physical touch without being judged. Research has found that platonic touch has a correlation to less violence, increased trust, compassion and sympathy, stronger immune system, better team dynamics, increased learning ability, and improves the well-being of an individual. It has also been found that touch increases oxytocin, drops cortisol, and triggers dopamine. The finding of this research is not surprising because people are by nature social animals and touch is a form of non-verbal communication. Touch can signify love. Touch can signify approval and confirmation. There are many health and cognitive reasons why touch is a healthy and more men should use friendship forms of touch.
There is no reason why men cannot touch each other as friends. Touch is important for single men to use to form bonds because it has health benefits and the social act can help to decrease loneliness, which has been found to cause death. All the single men, do not fear giving your male friends a hug or a pat on the back as a sign of affection.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you are single, and have a lot of time to yourself, you should check this out. These are three activities that every single should do to connect with others and be healthy. These three activities can help you become a better person and more well-rounded in society today.
3 Activities Every Single Needs To Do Today
Improve Your Relationships With Friends And Family
Your quality of your relationships with people is the measure of the quality of your life. Improve, amend, and fix the relationships in your life that need a little tender love and care. If you have moved to a new city as a young 20 something, you should keep in touch with visits to family and friends. Join a meetup group in your city, and work to improve your communication skills and build your circle of friend up. You can never go wrong when you are around good friends.
Take Time To Reflect
I feel like people don’t take time to sit and reflect. This can easily be done by meditating, and working to study what really makes you happy. I have found that pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and doing yoga seems to do the trick (: Though, if you’re not into yoga, or any of that, take long walks and begin journaling at the end of your day to reflect. Through journaling, you achieve clarity. Life is always asking for us to, be, or give something — which is part of life. So you should keep at least an hour to yourself. The key to life is to find your happy place. You can do this, begin one step at a time.
Workout Your Mind And Body
You should definitely join a gym if you haven’t yet and you should stick to your routine. Also, pair this with reading quality books every day. Make it a goal to complete 1 to 2 books a month. You truly will benefit from improving your body and mind. You put out what you put in, so also remember to eat healthy items! Organic veggies, meats, nuts, and fruits. Through, a glass of red wine can do the trick after a long day of work to reward yourself.
There you have it singles. Be proud of who you are, and you will begin to build the life you intend one step at a time by making the most of being single with these activities. Just believe in yourself, love yourself, and improve your relationships, mind, body, and spirit. You got this!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
5 Ways to Love Your Single Self During the Holiday’s
Some say ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year.’ But how do you embody that when you have a sense of secure-single-loneliness?
While your friends are pairing up and starting their families, here are some tips to keep you focused during the holiday’s:
- Love yourself.
No matter what situation you are in, whether recovering from a bad break up, or are chronically single and have no clue why you can’t seem to get a glance from the opposite sex, keep one thing in mind: you can love yourself — even when others don’t seem to.
Explanation: Yes you may have some issues, like having a high number of cats at your house or that embarrassing comic collection… But you can still love yourself. If there are some ailments you would like to remedy, talk to your friends for feedback or simply seek out professional help. There is always a way to love yourself. This is one of the most important keys to a happy life.
- When your family asks if you are dating anyone…
It’s okay to say ‘no.’ This is perhaps one of the most powerful words in the dictionary. When preparing the rebuttal of why you are still single, here is one powerful you can add into your tool belt:
I am taking time to find myself — you can never go wrong with this. Seriously, we could all benefit from studying ourselves on a deeper level. As the great philosopher Socrates once said, ‘Know thyself.’
- Focus on the great relationships you have with friends, and amend ones that need nurtured.
So many times people can get lost in their own minds… Especially when you are single and trying to decide if a relationship is right for you.. ‘Should I do this? Or should I do that…?’ Take this moment in time you have to build up great relationships and amend the past. A good circle of friends is the icing on the cake to a beautiful life.
If you feel lonely this holiday season, call a good friend and go shopping, eat out, and treat yourself! Perhaps a disagreement has distanced you from a good friend. Communication is key. Talking about how you feel, and expressing yourself in a safe environment will do a person good. Whatever route you take, make sure to appreciate your friends.
- Go workout.
Who doesn’t like a beautiful body? Head to the gym and work out for a quality hour. Mix it up with cardio, weights, or simply picking up a game of basketball. Bring your friends along, or simply go in solo. Either way, a workout will leave you feeling refreshed, and will vamp up the release of endorphin’s in your body — when they’re released, [they] make us feel better, improve our mood, increase pleasure, and minimize pain (altered-states.net).
- Meditate.
This is a great call to action for any time you feel lonely, lost, or confused being single. Simply meditate. All you need is a quiet space, and time to focus on your breathing. You will come out the other end a lot happier.
Now that you are armed with some great tips to survive this holiday season, you can definitely have a more positive one. Happy holidays Secure Singles!
Yours truly,
