Headed home this Thanksgiving? Don’t fret if you’re single. We’ve got a survival guide on how to feel less pressured by your family interrogations. Remember that it is okay to be single. If your family is understanding, you will be just fine, if not, it’s time to pull those adulting pants up. Ready? Here we go!
Step 1: Plan Your Trip Home
Make sure wherever you travel this season that you are prepared to make a safe journey flying or driving home. On your prep list, make sure to have plans to be with your family most of the time, and to also call up your neighborhood friends so you can catch up and take a break from being at home too much.
Step 2: Stand In Your Truth
If you are single and reading this, be proud of who you are. Make sure that you are comfortable with yourself as you are, and that you don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being single. Student loans, self-discovery, and taking time to mature before getting in a relationship all factor into a patient single person. You should never rush to date someone, especially if you aren’t ready. Don’t let anyone push you.
Step 3: Combat Interrogations
Most millennials are single anyhow, and it is a different world today than it was for your grandparents and parents. You may need to remind your family of this, and also let them know that there are pressing economic factors of why most millennials are single. You may feel like you are at a debate, just take a deep breath – it will be over shortly.
Step 4: Take A Break
This is where planning to see your neighborhood friends comes in handy. If you’ve having a tough time adjusting to being back home and getting slack for your relationship, then call a friend. You can go for coffee, watch football, see a movie, or go for a walk.
Step 5: Workout
While this may seem counter intuitive, working out during the holidays will both keep you in shape while people are eating their 2nd’s and it will boost your endorphin’s – this will make you feel instantly better. Look great, feel great, and hey – be great. Look sexy while you are doing it, and be proud of your single self.
Now armed with knowledge, you will feel prepared to go home and be with your family as a secure single person. Feel proud of who you are and flaunt your stuff – you’re not tied down and you are as free as a bird to do as you please.
Stay securely single this holiday season,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Thanksgiving dinner is the first holiday dinner that singles will have to go to this holiday season where family, extended family, and friends will ask you questions that are on all of their minds. Why are you still single? When was your last relationship? Why are you not dating anyone? When are you going to have children? While people are single for different reasons, there is nothing wrong with being single. This is a conversation recipe for how to respond to your family and friends interrogating questions about why you have no significant other.
Why Are You Still Single?
Directions: You are single because you found that the single life has much more to offer compared to when you were dating x, y, or z. In fact, you don’t see why it is a problem. Why are you asking me why I am single, you are not asking them why they aren’t divorced yet or how their marriage is going?
Recipe Variations: You are taking a break from relationships right now. You are content being single and have found that it better than dating. Or, you are single by choice and are not interested in ever getting into a relationship. You respect their choice to stay married, get divorced, live with their partner, etc; why can’t they respect your choice to remain single?
When Was Your Last Relationship?
Directions: Insert the number of years since your last relationship, now describe the values of the single life and how you have found them to benefit you while being in a relationship constrained you from achieving your potential. You can also say how you enjoy being single and you don’t know when your next relationship will be, you may be on a break, or that you have no interest in dating anyone.
Recipe Variations: You can point out that singles are on the rise, millennials are delaying marriage, and relationships can be overrated.
Why Are You Not Dating Anyone?
Directions: Describe that the need to date and to become a serial dater is a repercussion of society’s dating industrial complex. There is no need for people to date to be in romantic relationships when friendships can actually be more worthwhile. The need to always date has driven people into a relationship hysteria and to not recognize that the single life is worth living. You are enjoying your time being single and being able to focus on developing yourself instead of having to take care of someone else.
Recipe Variations: Pick the dangers of dating and online dating, especially in light of all the recent sexual assault and abuse scandals. Consider adding a generous dash of sass, spice, or sarcasm about the dating industry and people always being in relationships as you want.
When Are You Going to Have Children?
Directions: You can say that you have never asked about their sex lives and whether or not they planned to have their children or if they are considering having more. How is this an appropriate question?
Recipe Variations: This is one of the more direct and uncomfortable questions to be asked, you are welcome to retaliate to the question as you think is best. The response range can range from a jalapeno to ghost pepper, dependent upon the context and tone of the person who asked it. There is nothing wrong with being childless. It is fine to be single and childless.
These are four short and easy conversation recipes to guide you through those awkward questions that family and friends love to ask singles at Thanksgiving. Please use a generous dash of the ingredients and spices of your choice when responding to each question as the circumstances require. Turn up the heat and watch these questions burn in flames.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The holiday season is the time of year where you may travel to see family or visit a significant other’s family. The bottom line is that the holidays bring on additional expenses when you are in a relationship. Here are five ways being single during the holiday season saves you money.
Money
It is no surprise that the holidays push for people to buy their friends, family, and significant others gifts. Seasonal holiday jobs appear during this season so that people can make an additional income to spend on gifts during the holidays. This holiday season save money instead of spending it on a significant other.
Travel
Travel is another major expense during the holiday seasons. Depending on your work schedule and your relationship with your family, you may not be able to or want to go back home for the holidays. While your family may be understanding, a significant other would put more pressure on you to visit their family during the holidays so that you can meet their family. The cost of going home during the holidays or visiting a significant other’s family include transportation to and from airports food and drink at the airport terminal, and flight tickets. There should be no pressure to travel during the hectic holiday season and being single gives you the opportunity to make your own decisions about where you want to spend your holidays.
Dining Out
Relationships are expensive, especially dating relationships, because you have to pay for another person when you dine out. It is no longer a meal and a drink. It is now two meals and two drinks. Food and drink quickly add up when going out. But if you went home with your significant other for the holidays, they want to take you to their favorite places in their city. This means that you will need to include additional money in your holiday budget to dine out with your significant other. However, by being single during the holidays, you only have to pay for yourself when you go out. If you want to save money, you can cut back on going out and put it towards gifts or put the money that would originally go towards dining out into your savings account.
Gifts
Gifts can be expensive depending on what type of gifts you like to give people. If you have a significant other who you want to impress at Christmas, you may buy them some nice jewelry or bottle of their favorite spirit. While some families want to cut back costs of gifts by doing a white elephant gift exchange, you may not be so lucky with your significant other’s family. Being single means that you can save money again by having to get gifts for your one family instead of for a significant other and their family too.
Holiday Parties
Holiday parties start around Halloween and peak during New Year’s, but won’t end until after Valentine’s Day. That means you may be go to parties with friends or a significant other at least once for each holiday. Depending on the type of party and where it is located, parties may require purchasing tickets in advance and events for holiday parties can get expensive. Instead of being pressured to go to holiday parties and spend money that you really don’t want to because of a significant other, embrace being single this holiday season and go to holiday parties that you want to or save money by not going to any parties.
These are the five most common ways that you will spend money during the holidays. If you are single and are not obligated to visit a significant other’s family this holiday season, be thankful because not being in a relationship is saving you money. Is being single during the holidays starting to look better now? Happy holidays and enjoy being single this holiday season!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Halloween is one of the best holidays of the year. You can create your own costume or buy a costume. There are events throughout the month that singles can go to alone or with friends from events at bars or night clubs to murder mysteries. While Halloween is a great holiday, singles should be sure to stay safe and not do anything later in in the night without consent. Here are five activities for singles this Halloween.
Bar Hopping
Halloween is one of the best day of the year for bars. People often plan to bar hop with friends on Halloween. Find the bars that are having costume contests or go to your favorite watering hole dressed up alone or with friends.
Halloween Parties
Check your social media for Halloween Parties that your friends or favorite places may be hosting on Halloween. If it’s a friend’s party, dress up and bring a party gift as a thank you for hosting the party. A bottle of wine or liquor are standards to give to party hosts. Once at the party, all you need to do is to be in costume and character while enjoying hanging out with your friends and meeting new people.
Murder Mystery
There are normally a number of different types of murder mysteries that places do at restaurants or dinner clubs during October. A murder mystery is also a great party idea for anyone who may be hosting a Halloween party. If you have more time to plan the murder mystery, you can make it horror themed and scary for your party guests. It is Halloween after all. Find or make a thrilling murder mystery this Halloween.
Themed Scavenger Hunt
Scavenger hunts are fun ways to get to know people by having people be in two to four people groups. This is another entertaining party idea. The scavenger hunt can be as simple or complex as you want. If you don’t want to take the time to create your own scavenger hunt, Halloween themed scavenger hunts can often be found in major cities.
Horror Movie Marathon
This is a classic Halloween activity to do throughout October and on Halloween. Here are Rotten Tomatoes’ Top 100 Horror Movies of all time. This October has also seen the revamping of many classic and modern horror franchises: IT, Leatherface, and Jigsaw. You can do this by yourself, invite friends over, or go to a friend’s place who may be hosting a horror movie marathon. Enjoy and get scared this Halloween.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Summer has passed and fall is here. Autumn offers many different activities that singles can do alone or do with friends to enjoy the offerings of the season. Here are five activities or events that singles should do during October. Here are five October activities singles can do this fall.
5 October Activities For Singles To Do This Fall
Go to a Pumpkin Patch
Go to a pumpkin patch by yourself or with some friends to pick your number. This is a fun activity to do during October to find a pumpkin that you can carve for Halloween.
Host a Pumpkin Carving Contest
After you picked your pumpkin from the pumpkin patch or bought one at the store, host a pumpkin carving contest at your place. You can invite your friends over by sending out invites over social media. You will need a table cloth or something to place on the table or the floor for people to clean and carve their pumpkin during the event. You can make it pumpkin themed by buying seasonal Oktoberfest and Marzen beer and Halloween snacks for guests to enjoy during the event. Get creative and have fun at the pumpkin carving contest.
Go to a Corn Maze or a Haunted House
Find a corn maze or haunted house in your area. You can go by yourself or you can invite and go with friends. There are regular mazes and haunted mazes normally at the botanical garden, fairgrounds, or another event space. The other option is to find a haunted house in city or town. Haunted houses can be fun and you can find the different haunted houses in your area with a quick online search. Go to a corn maze or a haunted house this month and have fun alone or with friends.
Host a Thriller and Horror Movie Night
It is October. The month for chills and thrills. One of the best way to enjoy the month is to host or to watch thriller and horror movies. If you don’t know where to start, Rotten Tomatoes has a list of the top horror movies of all time. For new horror movies that are coming out this month, you can go see IT or Jigsaw.
Go to a Rocky Horror Picture Show and Costume Contest
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a cult classic film. There are normally a number of different Rocky Horror Picture Show events in cities during October. These events range from playing the film in independent theaters, live performances, and costume contests for the best costume at the event. Be sure to at least watch this movie once and maybe add going to a Rocky Horror Picture Show live performance or costume to your bucket list.
October is a fun month that offers many different activities and events that singles can go to alone or with friends with the month’s pinnacle being Halloween.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Happy National Friendship Day! This holiday that is celebrated on different days around the world, but the first Sunday of August is the standard day for the holiday. Friendship is important. Friendships influence who you become. Friendships evolve. Friendships end. Friendship is part of life. In a world that adores romance and couples (Valentine’s Day), it is even more important that singles celebrate National Friendship Day. Friendship is vital to human growth and here are five ways that singles can celebrate National Friendship Day.
Host Friends at Your Place
Hosting is a valuable life skill. Plan an event with your closest friends. Invite them over and provide some snack. You can provide the drinks, or you can ask them to bring their own beverage. Simply create a Facebook event and invite your friends to your event. Be sure to let them know that you appreciate their friendships and want to celebrate being friends on National Friendship Day.
Go Out to Eat
This is one of the simpler options. It will cost more than hosting a simple get together for your friends, but it is easier and you don’t have to deal with cleaning up after your guests. Contact a few of your closest friends and let them know that you want to get together on National Friendship Day to celebrate being friends. Start by providing an few restaurant options and find a time that works with your friends, then just make a reservation at the final restaurant for you and your closest friends.
Get Together for Drinks
Happy hour is always a great time to get together with friends for some drinks. Discounted drinks and food at you and your friends’ favorite bar or restaurant. The problem is most places don’t offer happy hour on Sundays, which is the day of the week of National Friendship Day. Celebrate your friendship by trying someplace new or take it up a level by going to a nicer bar or cocktail lounge instead of the standard sports bar that you may meet your friends at. It’s always five o’clock somewhere and it’s always fun to drink with friends. Enjoy yourselves, toast to your friendship, and remember to be safe.
Never Have I Ever and Two Truths and a Lie
This builds off of number three, but instead of meeting up with your friends somewhere for drinks provide basic bar snacks and play some drinking games. These games will accomplish two things on National Friendship Day. First, you will be drinking and cheering with your friends celebrating being friends together. Second, there are some drinking games that will test how well you know your friends while getting to know them more. Two fun drinking games that are fun to bond over are never have I ever and two truths and a lie. Sounds like fun. This could become a monthly event.
Get Out In Nature
It is good and healthy to go out in nature. It is even better to go out and explore nature with your best friends. It can be as basic as going to a park. Or, it can be more complicated by planning a day hike with your friends. Go out and be one with nature with your friends.
Summary
Friendship is essential to life. It is often underappreciated in a society that is infatuated by couples and romance. It is crucial that singles have friends and have a community. That is why National Friendship Day is a perfect fit for singles. It’s merely an excuse to meet up with you friends. It is a holiday after all.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
On July 2, 1776 the Continental Congress approved separation from Great Britain. The final version of the Declaration of Independence was finished and adopted by the twelve American colonies. The Founders and the colonies sought independence from the despotism of Great Britain and sought to create a nation with a separation of powers instead of being ruled by a king. This 4th of July celebrate the United States separation from Great Britain and the Declaration of Independence.
The United States was founded on the philosophical ideas from great thinkers such as John Locke who believed in limited government and individual liberty. The government has no right to intrude upon its citizens’ natural rights that include “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The founders’ understanding of happiness was influenced by John Locke who wrote in an Essay Concerning Human Understanding that “The necessity of pursuing happiness [is] the foundation of liberty.” It is this very idea of happiness that is the cornerstone of the single life.
Singles have the autonomy to go and to do as they please without the restraint of a significant other. The single life gives mobility to singles that allows them to travel undeterred without obligation to another person or commitments that would prevent them from doing as they please. The Declaration of Independence was a formal break up letter to Great Britain that the colonies were through with being ruled by a king. Singles should adopt the liberty of the single life and declare freedom from anything that keeps them from being the best version of themselves. This 4th of July celebrate the Declaration of Independence, the colonies separation from Great Britain, and the independence of the single life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Bill Maher just released a video that included a segment on singles. He presented singles in a positive light and asked, why do single people not have their own holiday? Bill Maher presentedd a nice summary of facts about the single demographics that Secure Single has covered on the site. It is nice for someone who has mainstream recognition to finally acknowledge singles. This is a step in the right direction. Society needs to realize the reality of the single population in countries and make a holiday that celebrates singles’ contributions to society.
In the five minute video, Bill Maher summarized data and studies about singles. He told his viewing audience that singles now outnumber those who are married and that singles are the new norm. Singles do have a smaller carbon foot print than their married counterparts. Society needs to stop with the negative stereotypes of those who are unmarried and face reality. Maher also told viewers that society and people need to stop believing that those who are single are incomplete and suspect. He explained that being single can be a rational decision (for those who are single by choice). Bill Maher told his audience that compared to couples; singles exercise more, are healthier, have less debt, have stronger social ties with family and friends, and that not being married should not be a shock. This is the 21st Century after all
Bill Maher asked for a holiday to be made for all single people since holiday are made for those who are married or who have a role to their children. His name for the holiday was “I Didn’t Reproduce Day.” While that name is comical, it still is negative to singles. There is a National Single Parents Day, but there needs to be a National Singles Day that celebrates being single. Here are some other Single Holiday, or holidays, name ideas:
- Secure Singles Day
- National Singles Pride Day
- Single By Choice Day
- Happy Singles Day
- Single Life Day
Since I first started Secure Single, I am happy to see that someone who is recognized by the mainstream is finally bringing the truth about singles out of society’s closet. There is nothing wrong with being single. No one is incomplete if they are single. No one should be held suspect by someone because they are single. There should not be any pressure for those who are single and unmarried to have children if they do not want to have kids. Being single is a healthy lifestyle choice or stage in life and society needs to begin to acknowledge that fact. This is a step in the right direction, thank you Bill Maher. The Secure Single Team will continue to move society’s pendulum to change the perception of all singles.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Secure Single Crew wants to wish all singles, and our followers, a Happy Easter and Eggs Benedict Day. Celebrate one, or both, holidays by having brunch. Singles can find a brunch place and eat alone or invite some friends to have a relaxing Sunday to catch up. After all, eating alone is on the rise.
Whether or not you celebrate Easter, holidays are usually a time to reconnect and to get together with friends and family. Being social is important for singles as Millennials have been found to be lonely and to have less friends on average compared to past generations. Relax today alone or with friends and find a brunch spot that you have been wanting to try to celebrate Eggs Benedict Day and Easter. Have a great Sunday and we look forward to providing more content that will help singles and the unmarried to flourish in life!
Best Regards,
James Bollen and the Secure Single Crew
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
New Year’s Resolutions. We all make them, But how do you tailor them to be securely single? Here are the top 7 New Year’s resolutions to make if you are single, and want to make 2017 one of the best years of your life.
1. Read The 7 Healthy Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
For the mind. This book will literally outline a great plan for your new year, and give you the stepping stones to developing good habits that will serve you in 2017 and beyond. All goals are met by developing habits to achieve them. Why not give it a shot?It will help improve your life.
2. Get a Gym Membership and develop a workout routine you can stick to
For the body. Join a gym, and actually go. Improving your body through working out, whether lifting or cardio — or both, will greatly improve your mood, make you look sexier (yes, I said it), and improve your health. Look online for routines that will help you build up from a 20 minute run up to 1 hour weight lifting. Working out will help relieve stress, and improve your cognitive skills through developing the habit of discipline, and improving your dopamine levels (natural happy hormones released after working out. You will also sleep better.
3. Know thyself.
Whether you are spiritual or not, you should definitely invest in studying the beautiful and unique person you are. Whether that means studying eastern and western philosophy, or simply attending group spiritual settings where you can let loose and be appreciated by other people in the same boat. Study yourself, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. Your clarity will greatly improve, and you will achieve another understanding of yourself, others, and the world around you.
4. Plan it out.
Your life’s purpose. Yes we hear this a lot, but it is actually true. When you plan your life out, and work your plan, your plan happens. Though, don’t write it out on your computer or phone, rather, take a big piece piece of paper and a sharpie marker and write down exactly what you want. If you need time to think, take your time. Take all the time you need. This is, after all, you’re life. Taking the time to sit with yourself and write down your purpose in life is very important, and when you know your life’s purpose, you wont was a single sec-on doing things that don’t align with your goals.
5. Make and Keep Good Company
Take time to make friends and keep friends that love and appreciate you. Too often, we seek the approval from people who do refuse to give us the love at attention we deserve, or we seek to be fiers with people who don’t appreciate us. THis can stem from, (going to go a bit deep here), childhood issues and self esteem. Now that you are a fully functional adult, take time to make the decision to surround yourself with people who ONLY bring out the best in you. Why? Because you deserve good people in your life, because deep down, YOU know you are a good person.
6. Love yourself.
Whether you are newly single, chronically single by choice, or securely single, take this moment in time to truly appreciate yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Simply because you exist, you are 100% eligible to love yourself. Take time to work on improving your confidence within yourself, and take time to truly get to know yourself and love yourself.
7. Stick to your goals.
Find a friend who helps you work towards all your goals, and keeps you accountable. In return, help your friends keep herself/himself accountable. With all of your life goals planned out, work together as a team.
All New Year’s resolutions are directed at making you, a better you! Improve your self, inside and out, and your entire life will begin to improve. Stay secure my single friends, and remember, the world needs more secure single people.
Securely Single,
Danielle E. Brockman