Whoopi Goldberg on The View summarized a recent survey that found 61% of women prefer being single than to be in a relationship. The same survey found that only 49% of men prefer to be single.
The View hosts speculated that the reason why women prefer being single is because they are generally better able to take care of themselves and their living area while men generally learn those skills later in life. While it may be true that men may have more difficulty in learning to how clean and to care of their living space, it is a skill that can be learned by single men. Singles, both men and women, should know how to do basic household chores and how to shop for one person so they have the freedom of the single life.
“As it turns out, I am not normal and that is something that I have come to accept.” – Whoopi Goldberg
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The holiday season is the time of year where you may travel to see family or visit a significant other’s family. The bottom line is that the holidays bring on additional expenses when you are in a relationship. Here are five ways being single during the holiday season saves you money.
Money
It is no surprise that the holidays push for people to buy their friends, family, and significant others gifts. Seasonal holiday jobs appear during this season so that people can make an additional income to spend on gifts during the holidays. This holiday season save money instead of spending it on a significant other.
Travel
Travel is another major expense during the holiday seasons. Depending on your work schedule and your relationship with your family, you may not be able to or want to go back home for the holidays. While your family may be understanding, a significant other would put more pressure on you to visit their family during the holidays so that you can meet their family. The cost of going home during the holidays or visiting a significant other’s family include transportation to and from airports food and drink at the airport terminal, and flight tickets. There should be no pressure to travel during the hectic holiday season and being single gives you the opportunity to make your own decisions about where you want to spend your holidays.
Dining Out
Relationships are expensive, especially dating relationships, because you have to pay for another person when you dine out. It is no longer a meal and a drink. It is now two meals and two drinks. Food and drink quickly add up when going out. But if you went home with your significant other for the holidays, they want to take you to their favorite places in their city. This means that you will need to include additional money in your holiday budget to dine out with your significant other. However, by being single during the holidays, you only have to pay for yourself when you go out. If you want to save money, you can cut back on going out and put it towards gifts or put the money that would originally go towards dining out into your savings account.
Gifts
Gifts can be expensive depending on what type of gifts you like to give people. If you have a significant other who you want to impress at Christmas, you may buy them some nice jewelry or bottle of their favorite spirit. While some families want to cut back costs of gifts by doing a white elephant gift exchange, you may not be so lucky with your significant other’s family. Being single means that you can save money again by having to get gifts for your one family instead of for a significant other and their family too.
Holiday Parties
Holiday parties start around Halloween and peak during New Year’s, but won’t end until after Valentine’s Day. That means you may be go to parties with friends or a significant other at least once for each holiday. Depending on the type of party and where it is located, parties may require purchasing tickets in advance and events for holiday parties can get expensive. Instead of being pressured to go to holiday parties and spend money that you really don’t want to because of a significant other, embrace being single this holiday season and go to holiday parties that you want to or save money by not going to any parties.
These are the five most common ways that you will spend money during the holidays. If you are single and are not obligated to visit a significant other’s family this holiday season, be thankful because not being in a relationship is saving you money. Is being single during the holidays starting to look better now? Happy holidays and enjoy being single this holiday season!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
I admit it. I am a workaholic. It’s my addiction. I’ve been so terrible at relationships so I thought I’d put my energy into building business in this great country. I love what I do and having the opportunity to build a better life by serving people to the best of my ability. Working towards the good life takes all your focus and energy, but it is totally worth it if you value capitalism. Being single allows me to work more hours and prepare myself for a better life and future. This is a principle I think everyone should follow: do today what will prepare you for a better and more fulfilling future. Be a workaholic, and relentlessly go after your goals.
Getting Focused
Sometimes it takes making a lot of stupid mistakes to realize you’ve got to change yourself and the self-sabotaging behaviors you have conducted that no longer serves you. Everything is a choice. When you become aware of yourself and things that you want to change, you can begin to make the shift and change the course of your life. Getting to where you want is all about focusing on what you want. As a friend of mine once said, you have to put your blinders on. There are so many distractions out there today, so being focused can be a key factor in achieving the goals you set out for yourself. You’ve got to put in the work to see the results.
Being Single Helps Me Develop My Career
I am not focused on having a family right now. A family is the farthest thing from my mind. I hope that one day I will meet someone special who really gets me and complements my life, but right now, I really want to get straight with my career and pound the rubber to the road. I want to hit my targets in business, and being a well rounded and savvy woman. Being single allows me more time and freedom to stay up late, drive across town, and take on a second or third job to fund my capital accounts. Being single also allows me the opportunity to travel, move, and be where ever I like. Putting in the time and effort now will greatly increase your chance at a better life in the future. Get focused on your career, because hitting goals and targets that you aspire to will make you happy, tying your happiness to a person will not.
How Can You Still Get Love
I’m all about the hustle, and proud to be a workaholic. You still will need love though, because those shiny black cars can’t love you back. Here’s how you can still be a workaholic and get love. Take your planner and schedule time throughout the week to spend meaningful time with the people who love and care about you. Show some love to your family, your friends, and your community. The more you give, the more you get. Feeling loved is one of the best feelings in the world, and can stabilize your mood and enhance your mental health. Dating is just out of the question, and so are friends with benefits. The reason why is that, for me, I’ve seemed to screw up every relationship by putting up walls and running away because I am fearful of intimacy. Meaningless hookups make you feel empty inside, and initially hurt your self-worth and confidence. When you are established as a Secure Single, you may then have the chance to be whole and complete with another person who is also whole and complete. In the meanwhile, find love and give love to your family, friends, and community. Most will understand your workaholic way, and most lovers won’t.
History
For all the single women out there, now is the time. We have more economic opportunity and power now thanks to the women who came before us. Make an impact, and go for the gold. Work hard to get what you want and accept nothing less than your best. Develop the life you want through building a career that will empower you and inspire you. You can have it all, it takes work. Develop the made of a workaholic, and be relentless in the pursuit of your goals. We have so much opportunity today to make an impact thanks to the work our sisters did throughout history. There is opportunity everywhere for single women to reach their full potential. When you have time, thank a woman in power who has lead the way for you. You can have it all!
Serve to Survive
I confess that being a workaholic makes my life pretty busy and intense, but it provides me with more opportunities that I ever dreamt of, and we’re just getting started. I believe that because I am single I have more time to do what I want, when I want, and where I want. Being single will allow you more time to focus on developing your career. Go for the gold, and work your butt off. You are worth it to make the most of yourself. Ask not what the world can do for you but what you can do for the world. Become a workaholic and make the best of your world. Create the life you love.
Securely a single workaholic,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Too often people rush to get married. When pressured by society, we often find the first person we can get our hands on to marry. This is a recipe for disaster, not to mention that rushing can cause you to attract the wrong partner. Here are the six main reasons why singles often regret getting married and why singles should stop believing that they need a partner to be happy.
The sages tell us that if we go about our lives, then ‘someone’ will come to us and be Mr. or Mrs. Right. I’ve seen it happen for some people, but I have also seen it happen where others attract someone who is completely uncomplimentary to them. The need to find Mr. or Mrs. Right is also reinforced to us by society’s belief in the soul mate myth.
Here are six of the top reasons people regret getting married:
The desire to hook up with other people
Some people just settle, without sowing their wild oats, and this can be a disaster. Suppressed urges eventually come out, and sometimes in the worst way. Save yourself and your partner the trouble of heartbreak, and just go experience life before you become committed. You can always enjoy life once you get into a serious relationship, but take care of your bucket list items first.
The person they married is not who they thought they were
Sometimes when people are trying their best to attract a partner, they put on masks and are not their true authentic selves. Once the partner is attained, the person reverts back to the original person they once were. This Can be traumatic for the one they married because they married you for who they thought you were. That person turned out to be a lie.
Having Children Too Soon
Once you’ve popped them out, there is really no going back. If you’re not already on a solid foundation, having children can add salt to the wound. Yes children are beautiful, but when you’re not solid in your relationship, it an be the solution to tear you and your partner apart. Most people buckle under pressure.
Not Having as Much Sex as You Thought You Would
People Get married and like the idea of sex with one partner who is safe, but sometimes when you get married you have less sex. When your needs aren’t met, you will seek them elsewhere. That is the essence and foundation of cheating.
Feeling Unappreciated
A simple act of kindness or ‘thank you’ goes a long way. You or your partner may not feel appreciated, or they may feel like you’ve taken advantage of them, or they take advantage of you. Behavior like this is cause for abandonment.
Not Having Clear Intentions
When you don’t know the motives of the other side, and every person has a motive for something, then communication down the road can be problematic. When you are upfront and honest, you can help set the tone for an open and safe environment for the other person to be open and honest.
Basically, if you follow a few simple rules you should be set when it comes to staying securely single, or avoiding heartbreak trauma while in a committed relationship. Don’t get married if you are not 100% sure it is what you want regardless of what society tells us. Wait until you feel ready. Be clear on your intentions, open, and honest. Make sure to experience your single life to the fullest extent, and have fun, because when you don’t get married, you now share your life and make decisions with another person’s consideration.
Stay safe, stay happily single, and enjoy life. Love is a battlefield, so don’t commit to anything you’re not comfortable with – especially a commitment like marriage. Good luck out there!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Recently a young woman put herself through 80 first dates to find Mr. Right. You heard it – 80 dates and counting. We’re talking 80 different nights of getting ready, doing hair, makeup, and picking out the right outfit. Combined in total, that’s a lot of effort. When we approach the age of 30, the majority of our friends will statistically be married, have children, and have been divorced at least once (yikes!). Though, data tells us that there is a steady decline of marriage overall.
American society still pressures us to pair up, and if not then people feel sorry for you because you’re single. What the fuck is wrong with our society? There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re single. Personally, I’ve noticed me being single proses people to put me on terrible blind dates, and even ask how promiscuous I am or if I’m getting any – whoa now, that can be pretty personal. Let’s just say I enjoy being single, and all the freedom that comes with it. America is all about freedom, right?
In attempts to fit the norm, people like the woman above desperately scramble to find someone to marry – which can be a cause for disaster. When you force things, it never tends to go well. This woman may want to have a meaningful relationship with someone, but the fact that she went through 80 dates with no avail proves one of two things: she either has really high standards (nothing wrong with that), or the people who go on these dates reek of desperation.
Let’s go back to this – 80 dates. She might feel pressure from family and friends. She might also be called out for being a spinster. If she can’t find someone, then it’s just not the right time. Not saying there is anything wrong with being in a relationship, but one should never feel inclined and desperate enough to go on 80 dates.
I firmly believe there are good men and women out there that are perfectly date-able, but some people just like their independence – like me! Every time I do get into a relationship, I compromise a lot only to realize the men I attract are ‘emotionally unavailable’, complete jerks, or end up being stalkers – which is why I carry my pepper spray on my keys now, thanks Jim!
Looking at the woman who went on 80 dates, I find she is extremely attractive and ambitious. If she cannot find a guy, then she shouldn’t feel desperate. She should enjoy herself, and build a huge bucket list of things she can do to enjoy life to the fullest. This reminds me of a great quote by Mae West:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
Again, I think 80 dates is completely ridiculous. It should never come to that much of a desperate measure, and when it comes to getting into a relationship, desperation is a GREAT repellent to keep you single. So don’t feel that way.
Stay single and be happy – you will enjoy your life a lot more, and will attract good friendships, experience, and feels. You’re life is worth is to be happy – not desperate. To all the hopeful singles out there, Bobby McFerrin puts it this way, ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy.’
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many industrial complexes but the most well known is the military industrial complex. The dating industrial complex is more recent with the rise of the online dating and the marriage industry. There is nothing wrong with dating or getting married for those singles who want to, but when an industrial complex arises in society that places pressure on singles to date it is a problem. Here are three ways singles can survive the dating industrial complex.
3 Ways Singles Can Survive The Dating Industrial Complex
The dating industrial complex consists of online dating, speed dating, matchmaking, dating advice, dating books, and finally getting married. The dating industrial complex came about because of the pressure society places on people to date and get married along with the growth of the Internet where dating sites and advice are now common. The pressure that singles receive by society to date leads to singles believing that they must seek out dating advice and use dating services to find a mate. Each of these relationship services feed off the other and fuels the other while society continues the cycle by shaming singles for being single. The dating industrial complex is a problem that singles need to deal with in a culture that wants everyone to become coupled.
Recognize It Exists
The first step for singles to survive the dating industrial complex is to realize that it exists. By acknowledging that it is real, it will allow singles to be aware of the complex. This will then help singles to not succumb to the pressure to date. After recognizing that it exists, singles can move on by being secure in their singleness.
Be Secure In Yourself
Singles should be secure in their singleness and comfortable in who they are as a person. One of the common reasons why people get into a relationship is because they are pressured to date. They are also not comfortable with who they are as an individual. The solution is for singles to learn about themselves as a person. This includes their interests, goals, values, and what brings them happiness in life. Once a single knows and understands what drives them in life, they gain work to achieve their life goals. For some singles, this may include dating and getting married. For other singles, it may mean that they want to remain single throughout their life. For others, it may be somewhere between dating and being single by choice. There is diversity in the single life and what it means to be single.
Work To Reach Your Goals
After a single knows what they want from life, they can better work towards that goal and respond to the dating industrial complex. The dating industry is worth an estimated $3 billion. Singles are getting married later and that means singles are using the dating industries services less. Singles are, instead, focusing on paying off any debts and their careers rather than dating. This refocus of what is important has decreased the value of the milestone of getting married of past generations. By refocusing their goals, singles have already started to react to the dating industrial complex and less its impact. This is a small step that can be built upon with movements, organizations that support singles, and by protesting the stereotypes and stigmas that society tells people to believe about singles.
Singles should enjoy being single and there is no reason why people who are unmarried need to date. The dating industrial complex instructs singles that they need to always be in a relationship and if they are not, then they are less valuable to society. It is time for singles to recognize the dating industrial complex and respond by becoming secure singles.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
It can be difficult being single when your friends, family, and society says you must date or get married. As someone who gets asks if I am seeing or am interested anyone, I understand how it goes. The most important thing you can do is to pursue what you love and point out that out to anyone who asks about you love life. Being single is great and you do not need a significant other. It is perfectly fine to be single and here are five ways to deal with people who pressure you to date.
Let Them Down Softly
Simply be nice. It is important to love family and friends, even though they can difficult to put up with. In this option, explain to whomever it is who is pressuring you to date that you are not interested in dating or have no urge to date. You can also describe how singles now outnumber the married population.
Dating Questions
When people ask you if you are seeing anyone, or if you are interested in anyone, they are implicitly telling you that your value as a person comes from being in a relationship. Single shaming is common in a society that places value on someone for their relationship status. There is more to life than dating or getting married. Let them know this and tell them how you enjoy spending your time instead of being in a relationship.
Relationships Do Not Give You Value as a Person
Society says your value as an individual is given to you by being in a relationship. This idea is false. An individual’s value is the same whether they are single, dating, or married. A person has intrinsic worth as an individual that cannot be taken given or taken away from them by another person. If someone is placing pressure on you to date, and you are not ready to date or you enjoy being single, tell them that you value yourself enough as a person that you don’t need to date.
A Relationship Does Not Complete Someone
Movies, television, and popular culture portray singles in a range of negative ways. Popular culture incorrectly believes that a person need to find another person to become complete. Society falls for the soulmate theory that singles are missing their other half that completes them and until they find that other person singles are incomplete. The soulmate theory hurts singles by placing pressure on them to date and to always be in relationships. This is problematic because singles who want to date may get into an unhealthy relationship to satisfy their friends and family while hurting themselves. Another problem with the soulmate theory and the idea that society pushes for singles to get into a relationship is that some people enjoy being single. The easiest thing to tell someone who is shaming you to be single and to date is to let them know that a relationship does not complete you and that the soulmate theory is a myth.
Some People Enjoy Being Single
The single life is a good life. It offers many benefits that are lost once someone begins to data or get married. There advantages of the single life include security, autonomy, flexibility, and diversity. Singles are secure in who they are and that the single life is worth living. Singles also recognize that the single life offers them autonomy to go and to do as they please without another person restraining them. The single life offers singles the flexibility to travel unrestrained and to live as they want unhindered by another person. There is also a diversity among singles from singles who recently got out of a relationship and who may want to date to singles who have chosen to be single. If you have no interest in relationships, the simplest answer is to tell your friend that you enjoy being single and that you have no interest in getting married. It is that easy.
The next time someone gives you a hard time for being single, tell them these five points and help them realize that the single life is a wonderful life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
When you have rose colored sun shades on, it’s easy to fall for someone who is tall, dark, and handsome Looking at the bigger picture is difficult when you feel you’ve met the one. Sadly, when you’re caught up on how attractive and perfect another person is, you can miss a lot of those big red flags that can literally derail you from a trailblazing career. Your 20’s matter, each and every second, and a quick decision to date someone who is a complete dream boat could mean the loss of time and productivity. Personally, you should probably wait until your 30’s to date someone seriously because you may not know what you are looking for in a mate and people are generally fully matured by their 30’s. Besides, by the time you reach your 30’s, you’ve gotten most of your wild partying out, right? Here are 5 of the top reasons to stay single in your 20’s.
Avoiding Laziness
There is nothing more unattractive in dating someone who doesn’t seem to have the motivation and zest for life that you do. According to Men’s Fitness, 72% of women and 60% of men can’t stand a lazy partner. When you are working hard to learn more in order to earn more, dating a lazy and unmotivated person will seriously bring you down. Like the old adage goes, you are the summarization of the people you surround yourself with. As a word to the wise, you will need to be careful who you date, and if at all, go solo. No one really knows what they want in their 20s – we live to be at least 100 years old, so why make the mistake of dating someone long term and have to deal with them the rest of your life? Focus on making a living and establishing yourself first. Your 20s decade is a very critical time period in your life.
Dating Multiple Partners
Psychology Today deems one of the deal breakers in relationships or rather budding relationships, is when their partner is dating multiple people. Romance can be confusing enough, so when you dip your toes into the dating pool, it can be very overwhelming.
If you are dating, you may be on the fence with your partner on how serious or not you actually are in the relationship. There is a likely percentage of either point of seriousness occurring. The odds of you finding the ‘right one’, meaning mentally and physically compatible, is very slim simply because each person is so unique. When you date multiple people, drama can arise, especially when the one you like is dating multiple partners as well. The solution is threefold: hang in there, stay single, and be completely transparent. The 100% safety zone is staying single. It will alleviate potential stress, though there is no risk of finding ‘the one.’
Your Fitness
When you are dating, your partner may be more or less fit than you. If you take your health seriously, then you don’t mess around when it comes to morning schedules, gym workouts, and routine runs. It can be difficult or hindering when your partner doesn’t promote you. When you find someone who loves to work out as much as you do, then great! A team can accomplish much more than a person driving solo. Going back to how you become the people you surround yourself with, your health will be affected. Surround yourself with people who will build you up. Drop your partner if they’re not willing to take the steps to take care of themselves. Dating someone who does work out makes you healthier. Build up friendships with the people you go to the gym with, and go get buff!
All the decisions you make in your 20’s will seriously affect the rest of your life, more so than decisions in your 30’s, 40’s, and so on. Even if you’re single, live your life with a zest. Enjoy life, and love all that there is to offer. Surround yourself with smart and kind people. Invest in your education, invest in perfecting your craft at work, and save all the money you can for investing. You can make it through your 20’s alive and successful. Take the steps today!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The news focuses on why women are single and then usually provides reasons to help women find a date. That is the story the media and popular culture sends to women, but society often sends a different message to single men. Single women have remained society’s focus until a recent Reddit user asked men why they are single. There are many reasons men are single or may choose to be single instead of seeking a relationship. Here are just a few reasons the single men said in response to that user’s question in the thread. Here are four reasons why men are single.
Four Reasons Why Men Are Single
Single, But Want to Date
For men that are single but would like to date, there are some common reasons why these men are still single. The first most discussed reason is often repeated on dating and relationship websites, single men don’t put themselves out there. But why don’t they do this? They may be too busy with work or life, they have difficulty reading body language (this is more common than you may think), have high standards, don’t go out enough, don’t go out enough to meet women, and single men may view themselves as not being financially viable to make a woman interested in them. Those are a few of the reasons why men who are single but want to date are still single.
Sick of Relationships And/Or Women
There are some other men out there who are single because they have had many terrible relationships with women or just plainly despise women. These single men may not be interested in a relationship because their parents were married and divorced multiple times. Their background and experience growing up and seeing their parents go through serial divorces does not make them interested in pursuing or finding someone to date.
There are other single men who just hate women. This could be because they do not get how women operate emotionally, think, communicate (verbally and nonverbally), or have given up on interacting with women altogether. This could be temporary or permanent for single men that have sworn off women. Some men may not enjoy talking to or hanging out with women, but they may still want to hook up with women when they are able since they still appreciate the physical beauty of women and sexual pleasure.
Career and Goal Oriented
Single men may also be career oriented and, for this reason, delay or put off getting married. The average age for single Millennial men to get married is 29. These men want to get a secure job, start their own business, or achieve financial independence and personal success before looking to date someone. However, some single people may have no interest in dating or getting married and may view working hard and being financially independent as a life goal instead of getting hitched. These single men may also have other personal goals, such as traveling, being involved in their community, supporting a cause they believe in, or wanting to live well in a certain area of the country, so they are willing to give up on being involved with a person for momentarily or for their entire life.
Single By Choice
There is another group of single men who have completely no interest in getting married. These single men enjoy what the single life offers them. Single men by choice, also do not view relationships as the end all and be all of life, which is contrary to what society tells singles. As singles by choice, these single men don’t mind being single and don’t feel they need to be in a relationship with another person. These single may be have decided to remain single by choice for personal, health, or religious, or they may identify as single. Ultimately, the cause of why single men choose to be single will be highly personal or may come down to identity.
Summary
There may be variations and particulars that go beyond the scope of this article for why men and women are single. Secure Single wants to explore those reasons more to help all single men and women. Are you a single man? We would enjoy hearing the range of reasons why men may choose to be single or want to be single for a time before wanting to date and get married.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Online Dating Horror Stories
When you’re single, you definitely know how to mingle. Going on dates is a fun thing – we get to meet other singles who also love to socialize. More than ever, in our current time, people are meeting online or through phone apps set up to help you meet and date someone from across the web. In fact, the online dating site eHarmony reports that there are 40 million Americans using online dating websites, where 27% are young adults, which is up 10% from 2013.
Online dating can be a fun experience and is a nice way to meet people. Now that online dating is becoming more common, people don’t have that stigma. However, just like any dating situation, there are a handful of horror stories from meeting people online.
Here are the top 5 online dating horror stories as pulled from BuzzFeed.com:
*All submissions below belong to BuzzFeed.com Secure Single is referencing and crediting all content submissions 1-5 below to Buzzfeed.com.
- Submitted by kiah4c
I went for a drink with a guy I had been chatting with online. He seemed pretty normal (good job, intelligent, funny). His first question on sitting down with our drinks was whether I was up for anal. I bypassed and watched him drink his body weight in shots before he started crying about his ex-girlfriend and then threw up down my shoulder when I was trying to walk him home. This was around 18 months ago, and he still messages me from time to time with a “hey,” or my favorite, “I miss you.”
- Submitted by KattieQ
I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete 180. He asked where I worked because I looked familiar… He said I looked like a girl from an amateur porn video. I knew that was not possible. He then asked if he could jerk off while we continued our normal conversation. After he tricked me into continuing the conversion for a few more minutes, I told him good-bye. Then he barraged me with dozens of lengthy messages asking to help him orgasm by telling him what he was doing was normal. Apparently, he had issues with disapproval and couldn’t finish without me telling him the simple letters “OK.” I never responded.
- Submitted by katet4dbf41478
I had been chatting with a guy on Yahoo Singles for a while, and we got along fairly well. When he asked me out to dinner I figured, sure, why not? It was singularly the most awkward and uncomfortable evening I have ever spent on a date. We spent our time attempting to make disjointed conversation… At the end of the evening we just simply said good night, and I figured that was the end of it. Approximately six months later, I received a message from his Yahoo account that roughly said the following: “Hi! This is X’s brother. This is going to sound really odd, but X is in prison for a few months (a big misunderstanding!) and I know he’d really like to hear from you. His address is through the ABC Correctional facility. Please write him!
- Submitted by estees2
I was speaking to this guy on Tinder, and after only a few minutes he asked me if I would marry him for $10,000. No joke. Apparently, he was a foreigner and wanted to become an American citizen. He couldn’t comprehend why I declined. He said, “Other people would do it for half the money!” I was like, “Not me, hun!”
- Submitted by Kris Woods (Facebook)
eHarmony matched me with my ex-husband…after we were divorced.
The online dating world is still early in development and should be taken with caution. If you are curious and want to learn more about people who meet their online date in person, check out episodes of Catfish.
If you do jump online and peruse the dating marketplace, just be safe and let your friends know what you’re up to. You could either have the next horror story from a first date, or you may meet the love of your life. According to www.pewresearch.org, 5% of committed married couples met online. Be safe either way and have fun with it. If you’ve got a profile online for a dating website, be authentic and ask friends to help you polish your profile to present you in the best and most original way. Have morals when you are online and know when someone on the other side crosses the line. Don’t be afraid to stop a conversation.
If you do have a hilarious or seriously horror-ish dating story, we would love to hear about it. Submit your comments below. Happy dating Secure Singles!
For more stats on online dating, check out StatisticBrain.